Once upon a time...
Four years ago to be precise I was at the place of worship. I was currently in a relationship with Kelton and was seated next to him when a boy walked in. He was tall, pale, broad shoulders, light gray blue eyes, dark brown hair. I had this feeling when I saw him that I had known him before. I couldn't figure out where. I assumed I had met him in the villages, but that feeling stuck with me. As did the attraction I instantly felt to him. Of course I couldn't have him for I was already with someone, but if I couldn't have him I wanted my best friend to. So I began matchmaking.
We went on outings as a double paired couple and I would spend time with him during events in the town. Unfortunately around the same time Kelton and I went different ways, this beautiful boy named Dick moved away. Within a few months he was wed to a girl I'd never pair him with. And as predicted, within 6 months their marriage disintegrated. As it fell apart, I was getting together with the love of my life, Tait.
When Tait ended our engagement, I thought no one in this entire world would know my heartbreak better than Dick would. So of course I turned to him for support. What I got however, was asked out. And it was cancelled. Repeat for three more dates until he finally followed through. On our first outing to see a jester, Dick brought his cousin along. And flirted with a girl there. Not at all what I wanted or needed.
A month or so passed before he asked me out again. This time we had a lovely dinner and enjoyed being frightened by people dressed to scare us. It was spontaneous and fun. And that became our relationship.
Unfortunately he never really seemed to open up to me or seem to like me more as time went on. He didn't want to hear me sing for it would make him feel awkward. I had written a book and shared it with him, of which he was not all impressed. His ex wife inflicted conflict in our relationship as she constantly wrote him. It didn't bother me all too much for I was dealing with the pain from Tait still. However, it plagued the back of my mind. At the place of worship his past girlfriend showed up and he paid more attention to her than I.
His sister was called on a mission in a far away land and time grew less with me in order to spend time with her. Upon her departure, I was given news that my royal duties were going to take me far away as well. Rather than him growing closer to me, I received a letter stating we were to go our separate ways.
There was nothing to be done about it for I was leaving for some time. I was upset, but let it be. Within a couple weeks news broke to me that he was spending time with yet another ex girlfriend of his. A few weeks later he had a new girlfriend. And another month before he loved her. He had never told me he loved me.
It hurt me. Mostly, because I had trusted him after things happened with Tait. However, my heart had been with Tait the entire time so I wasn't broken about it.
I spent the next seven months in agony over my broken engagement. On a random day I received a letter from Dick. He and his girl had parted ways. We began to keep in contact. I would tell him my pain about Tait. He would tell me his about his ex, of whom he wanted to marry. Due to our conversations I wrote to Tait to try to revive our broken relationship. He wasn't interested. Luckily, Dick was there to help me through it.
I enjoyed my letters with Dick. They were helpful and encouraging. He made me laugh. I invited him to visit me, and he took my offer. When he arrived, I wasn't sure whether we were friends or more, so I kept it as friends. That turned out to be a wise decision for he had been out with another woman a week prior celebrating her birthday. I was a bit jealous, and due to my stubborness, definitely did not want to be more than friends during his visit. His humor and handsomeness quickly won me over. We stayed up late sitting by the fire, him laying with his head in my lap and I'd play with his hair. I was smitten and was knew I could feel for someone again. On a day when my emotions went out of control, he laughed and thought it was amusing how I felt so much in less than 10 minutes. That was a relief to me.
His stay ended swiftly, but we continued to write. Until I decided to return to my land and my castle. However, there was a chance I was to attend to royal duties elsewhere so the length of my return was unknown.
Upon my arrival, I was greeted by Dick with a bouqet of flowers. His face turned bright red from embarrassment as people watched us. I was so excited to see him I couldn't let go of him!!!! The remainder of the next week was pure bliss. Complete happiness.
Unfortunately for me, my fairy tale of course never has happy endings.
Our relationship began to have fights. I was insecure about the depth of his desire for the woman he dated during our time apart. I had fallen in love with him when we were thousands of miles away. He, however, didn't feel that way for me. I couldn't bear knowing he cared more for another. He wouldn't reassure me either. He would add to the fire.
When the news came that I was to officially depart again, our relationship turned dark.
He began to not care to talk or see me often. It was a struggle for him to be on time for outings. He never complimented me. He wouldn't be affectionate with me. One day he was writing a religious speech and I leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, in which he forcefully shoved me away telling me that he would lose the spirit if I touched him. He would accuse me of wanting other men and when I reassured him of how wonderful he was and what he meant to me, he wouldn't listen and would get upset.
He informed me that if we were to be married we needed children right away for I was aging and he would not have unhealthy children. When I told him I wanted to wait before having children, he would get upset. We couldn't see eye to eye on our future. I wanted a husband who put me first, not my children first. And all he cared about was money and having children.
On Valentine's Day we were struggling a bit in our relationship. I had spent days making a gift of his favorite things. And he had planned a thoughtful outing. We were served a wonderful breakfast and then we went swimming water located above a dormant volcano. Most men when they saw me in less attire were quick to compliment. Dick was not. If I touched him in the water he would push me away for being inappropriate. On our return to the castle he said some very mean things to me and as soon as I shut the carriage door, he whipped the horses to take off as fast as they could, leaving me covered in a cloud of dust. I walked through the castle doors, tears streaming down my cheeks, and into my mother's arms. "Dick is so mean," I cried.
We worked through it, of course, after screaming and tears, only to end up fighting more and more. He wouldn't accept responsibility for any of his actions. I always took the blame.
If I was insecure, he was not understanding. He would leave me sobbing because he had enough. I had drinks of mine thrown out windows and broken when I spoke of feelings. I wanted him to be affectionate with me, and he treated me like a leper.
I've never felt so ugly unattractive and unloved in any relationship I'd had. I wanted to stick it out. I loved his family. I had seen him be good to others. I knew he could be good to me. He just had problems from his previous marriage, right?
The rest of my time with him, I was called dramatic and that my reactions to him were crazy and that I didn't want him to have the spirit. He would lie about things to me, including seeing the bishop because we had sinned for making out. Of which, the bishop didn't punish him, just informed him to be careful. which proved that we didn't need to talk to the bishop.
We decided to stay together when I departed to a far away land. He finally told me he loved me and I told him I didn't want anyone else for I loved him too. It was an unhealthy love however. And I knew it. But I had waited four years for this and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, but Dick or Tait. I had already lost Tait. I couldn't go through it again.
There were weeks that would pass without a word from Dick. And when we spoke, kind words were never exchanged. He never informed me about his life, and never seemed interested to hear of mine. He would tell me I was inappropriate and bad and that things I did or thought were not ok. I told him to stop acting so much higher and mightier than everyone. And I received the silent treatment for it. He told me I pressured him too much and that I told him how to love me, which made him not want to. He told me I was overbearing and exhausting and that I would make him miserable like his ex wife did. He accused me of trying to sleep with him and take the spirit from him. He told me he had doubts about me and that we shouldn't discuss a future together.
I was ready to end it, for why be with someone who doesn't see a future with you? I wanted a family. I had since Tait. I wanted a husband. One who was my best friend. Someone I could love unconditionally and who would love me back. One who I could tell anything to. One who would hold me if I was frightened or sad. One who would save me if I needed it. A best friend. A lover. An eternal companion.
Dick had told me if a war happened, I would be on my own. He said he would fight. I had asked what about me? And he said he wouldn't stay and protect me that he needed to be out protecting everyone. To me, if I was in a sinking boat, I'd jump off a lifeboat onto the sinking boat if he weren't allowed to leave. I would have stayed with him. He would have left.
I received news that Dick was spending time with a companion of his sister's. This made me jealous for I wasn't able to be with him. Another girl got to spend time with him. She got to be with his family. I didn't. And he didn't understand why I would be jealous of that.
My birthday came and Dick had not gotten a birthday present for me. He had been too busy. He had told me he couldn't be long distance forever and that I needed to return to my land. I had only been gone for a month and my duty did not allow that. He said everyone said that if I truly loved him that I would not have left. I said if he truly loved me he would have come with me. Later that evening, after more tears than a birthday princess should shed, I ended things with Dick.
I was sad for the next day, but then felt so relieved. No one was mad at me all the time or making me feel bad. And I felt bad for not feeling bad.
When I returned to my land for a visit to see my family, it ached me that Dick showed no sign of wanting to see me. I wrote a letter to his mother expressing my love for them and my appreciation. In which I got no reply. I left hurt and empty.
A couple weeks later, word was spread that he was seeing someone else. The companion of his sister whom I had no right to be jealous of. The night things ended with me and him, he said if he wasn't with me, he didn't want to be with anyone. He also knew how badly he had hurt me when he dated someone so quickly the last time we broke up...
Sometimes the beast turns into a prince after finding love. And sometimes the opposite happens and the prince becomes a beast, leaving you broken destroyed and wounded.
And we lived happily never after...
