Once upon a time...
As I was journeying back home after my heartbreak, I wrote a letter to Terrence informing him I would be arriving and a visit from him would be enjoyed. He agreed and we made arrangements to see each other.
He arrived at the castle and helped me onto the horse and we galloped away.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"You'll see," he replied.
We arrived at the river where he helped me off the horse. We walked to the edge of the river. "Do you remember what happened here?" Terrence asked. My stomach flipped. I did. I knew what he was going to do, but I wasn't sure I was ready. "Can I kiss you?" he asked. I nodded. He leaned in and kissed me.
If I ever liked his kissing, I sure didn't this time. Or maybe it just was because I was used to Klark's lips. Either way, there was no butterflies and his mouth opened like a snake. As though his jaw unhinged and was going to devour my face.
After what felt like hours, I arrived back at the castle and bid him goodnight.
A couple weeks later, I was set to return home to visit my family yet again. Of course I wrote a letter to Terrence suggesting I see him yet again. This time his response was that he was not eligible any longer.
Before I returned home, the announcement spread to me that not only was Terrence not eligible, but he was also engaged to be married. Two weeks after we kissed.
A man who is kissing other women with his unhinged jaw a couple weeks prior to getting engaged? I think she's the one with the unhappy ending.
...and we lived happily never after.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Chapter Thirty Four: Klark
Once upon a time...
It was love at first sight. It was my first day in princess training in a new land. He walked in and it was unlike anything I have ever felt. It was like lightning hit me. He wasn't as handsome as some I've dated. He had strange cowlics in his light brown hair that was slicked back. His nose curved out and there were strong wrinkles in the corner of his eyes when he smiled. His teeth were a bit small but his smile was contagious and I've never seen a man with so much charisma in all my life. Captain Klark was his name.
I saw him almost daily, as he was the captain of the guards. Each day I eagerly searched him out and when I saw him, it was like my heart stopped beating and he was all I could see. I kept trying to get his attention. Wearing my dress a little lower, batting my eyes, even caressing his smooth face with my new silk gloves. I couldn't get his attention.
One day as I was venting to my lady's maid about a man I was to be attending a ball with, Klark took a seat next to us. Hearing my predicament, he told me not to go with the guy and to spend the evening with him.
Which is exactly what I did. I spent the evening in his arms and even kissed him. Yes the first night with him. And there were fireworks. Not just figuratively. The land was having a big celebration and there were fireworks and rather than being a part of the festivities, I was in Klark's arms. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
A few days later as we were riding to the beach on his white horse, he slowed the horse to a stop. "Brailee, something has been weighing on my mind. I want a lady who will go to the taverns with me and likes to dance and drink." My heart dropped to my stomach. "You know that's not my lifestyle," I replied.
"I know, but that's what I want."
"Alright," I replied. "Then please take me back to the castle." He reached for my hand.
"I really like you," he said.
"I like you too. Please take my back to the castle." He shook his head and put his hands on his face.
"I'm an idiot, Brailee. I shouldn't have said anything. Can we please go to the beach like we had planned?" I should have ended things then. But instead we spent the night holding each other and talking about our pasts. Well mostly him talking about his. I didn't mind. I wanted to know everything about him.
Unfortunately there was a lot he left out that would take nearly a year before I learned the truth.
We were planning on going to a fair in the town. At this time our relationship was a secret. We didn't want to complicate things. A princess dating a captain just spelled trouble. As I was reading over royal documents with some of the ladies, Klark walked into the room. One of the girls stood and ran over to him, wrapping her arms around him and literally jumping on him. In a gown. VERY unlady like. "Angel I've missed you!!!" She squealed. The next few hours of being in the room with them was torture as she replayed the times that they had a thing for each other and how he had won her over with his charm. All the meanwhile he did nothing. And I had to sit, stay composed, and say nothing.
As the carriage arrived to get me, Klark walked up and said, "Fair tonight?" I shook my head. "Brailee what is wrong?" I looked at him. "Brailee what did I do?" I said nothing and climbed into the carriage.
I should have ended things then. But instead, I received a bouqet of flowers and a beautiful letter, and I forgave him and to the fair we went. And it was wonderful. Truly wonderful.
Every moment with him was. Except for the pressure he began to put on me to lower my standards to meet his. To spend the night. To be intimate. To go to taverns. He needed that in a relationship he said. They weren't a big deal he said.
And one my one I gave in. Because he gave me a feeling I'd never had. And I didn't want to lose it.
We attended weddings together. Jousting matches together. Sword fights. The world knew at this time that we were interested in each other. And I couldn't be happier.
At least I thought.
As the guilt of my lowered standards began catching up to me, I began to do more things I claimed I'd never do. Yet I still fell for him. Every day.
We only argued over whether he should attend taverns and festivals with scantily clad ladies and drugs. Our settlement was that he could attend if I were there.
There was one festival he wanted to attend in a land far away. We agreed he could if he made arrangements for me to go out there and we would spend time together exploring the land when it was done. As the time got closer to our planned trip, my feelings got stronger. Klark kept telling me he didn't believe in a love, and never wanted a family. These began weighing heavily on my mind. And the day before he was to leave, I brought it up. I decided I would not be journeying to see him. That I would stay.
I should have ended it then. But again, he changed my mind and I journeyed out to join him in the far away land. And I'm not sure I've ever had such a wonderful time before. It was magical.
Within a few weeks, Klark told me he loved me. At a tavern. And we danced the night away. We spent the day of thanks with his family. Then the winter holidays with his family.
To celebrate the new year, we had a few invitations. One was a festival, in which he informed me that he didn't really like attending those any longer (much to my excitement.) Another was a ball that the guards were having. Another was an evening with his dearest friends. We attended the ball. In which multiple ladies he had slept with were attending. That mixed with a few too many glasses (maybe bottles) of wine, created a very unroyal like, jealous, and borderline crazy, Princess Brailee. And a very upset Captain Klark. If he ever had a reason to end things, that was then. Jealous princesses falling into bushes and insisting on riding horses back to the castle alone late aren't on the list of reasons to want someone. In my defense, I wasn't used to drinking and didn't understand how to control myself yet. I was always lady like and didn't participate in those things. The next day I was full of regret as my Captain Klark left a poisoned me lying on his floor vomitting in bucket to be with his friends.
Maybe one of us could have ended things then. But we worked through it.
And in January we journeyed to my castle so he could meet my royal family. It went well.
A couple weeks later, Klark was going to see a sword fight. The fighter he was betting on lost and that night when we were to attend a guard's birthday dinner, he never showed up. I went alone. A lady in waiting went with me to find him at his friend's cottage. There were bottles everywhere. Drugs. And other women. I demanded he speak to me. A very drunken Klark came out. I told him to leave with me. He refused. I told him if he didn't then we wouldn't be together. He told me he didn't want to be with me he wanted to be with his friends. I asked him if our future meant anything and he said he didn't see a future with me.
I should have ended things then.
I left and spent the next few days sobbing and not speaking to him until he cornered me while I was going about performing royal duties. I gave in to those blue eyes and that heart melting smile. I shouldn't have. While I was home crying, he was with his friends writing apologetic love notes, when he should have been showing up at the castle throwing rocks at my window.
I know you think I'm a dumb girl for forgiving him, but I loved him. And he promised me a puppy.
Within a week he didn't show up for another night we supposed to spend together and with that I was certainly finished. Until he showed up at the castle, puppy in tow.
The next few months were amazing. I stayed with him and our puppy nearly every night. Of course he was allowed with other men a night or two a week. But every day with him was everything I wanted. We would sing my favorite songs today. He would dance with me in silence. When his soft skin touched mine, all my senses came to life. If I was hurting, he'd massage out the pain. I did the same for him. He'd lay in my lap and I'd run my fingers through his hair. We would light the candles and cook meals together. We read stories together and would get so excited about the next chapter that we could hardly wait for the next day to read it. And of course we trained our little puppy together (who would pounce on my head in the mornings and made me crazy.)
I had the little family I always wanted. But of course this story wouldn't be in here if it had a happy end.
It started when I found cigars. Klark had smoked other things (and convinced me they were harmless. And I was convinced) but never cigars. I told him I didn't tolerate that. He stopped wanting to hold me all the time. He spent a lot of time sleeping rather than paying attention to me. He began not showing up for our nights out and would go to taverns with his friends more than he would see me. Our birthday celebrations were perfect and wonderful. But I became tired of him not wanting me. My anxiety levels began rising. I started to feel alone, even when he was laying beside me.
I decided to take a lot of my items back to the castle from his home. It caused an argument of course. One where he took the puppy and left me to take the things alone. No conversation. Nothing.
Then when I broke down, he spoke to me and told me there was nothing to worry about. That he loved me. That we were meant to be. That I could be there whenever I wanted he didn't mind.
I should have just ended things. You shouldn't feel lonely in the arms of the one you love. But he kept telling me he loved me. We were meant to be. He'd never have another girlfriend if he lost me. He'd be devastated. And I felt the same.
A few weeks passed. I was informed that Tait, my ex fiance, had been remarried. This of course caused emotional turbulence. And then Klark informed me he was attending a festival. A huge festival in a land far away. Without me. He had planned this for weeks and hadn't informed me. But now he was telling me. "I can't just leave for days with only a weeks notice," I told him. "And you aren't attending that without me or we will not be in a relationship when you get back."
"I'm going. You can come Sunday. One of your ladies are coming that day to be with her boyfriend. She's ok with him going without her."
"I'm not her!" I exclaimed. "If I only go Sunday, you only go Sunday."
"I'm going. We will talk about this later," Klark replied.
The tears began to flow. "Why won't you ever just compromise!"
"There's no point in compromising when we are going to be together anyways." He said.
I was baffled. And hurt. I went home to the castle and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. No word from Klark. I made arrangements to return home to be with my family. I was hurting and I couldn't be alone. Not with this amount of pain.
The next morning a letter arrived for me. It was from Klark. Stating that he was too immature to be in a serious relationship. That he needed to "do him" right now and needed space. That this would be for the best of us and he couldn't be tied down anymore. That he wanted to take a break.
Mid twenties is a bit old for a break. I replied that we would break up we don't do breaks.
All that changing. All that forgiving. My life went from religious to lost. All those letters I wrote when he had a bad day. Gifts I left him or made him. Notes of i love you's left along the walls. My gowns are at his cottage. My puppy is at his cottage. Portraits, memories, and my heart and dreams of a family are there. There they will remain because not another word has or will be spoken to each other.
...and we lived happily never after.
It was love at first sight. It was my first day in princess training in a new land. He walked in and it was unlike anything I have ever felt. It was like lightning hit me. He wasn't as handsome as some I've dated. He had strange cowlics in his light brown hair that was slicked back. His nose curved out and there were strong wrinkles in the corner of his eyes when he smiled. His teeth were a bit small but his smile was contagious and I've never seen a man with so much charisma in all my life. Captain Klark was his name.
I saw him almost daily, as he was the captain of the guards. Each day I eagerly searched him out and when I saw him, it was like my heart stopped beating and he was all I could see. I kept trying to get his attention. Wearing my dress a little lower, batting my eyes, even caressing his smooth face with my new silk gloves. I couldn't get his attention.
One day as I was venting to my lady's maid about a man I was to be attending a ball with, Klark took a seat next to us. Hearing my predicament, he told me not to go with the guy and to spend the evening with him.
Which is exactly what I did. I spent the evening in his arms and even kissed him. Yes the first night with him. And there were fireworks. Not just figuratively. The land was having a big celebration and there were fireworks and rather than being a part of the festivities, I was in Klark's arms. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
A few days later as we were riding to the beach on his white horse, he slowed the horse to a stop. "Brailee, something has been weighing on my mind. I want a lady who will go to the taverns with me and likes to dance and drink." My heart dropped to my stomach. "You know that's not my lifestyle," I replied.
"I know, but that's what I want."
"Alright," I replied. "Then please take me back to the castle." He reached for my hand.
"I really like you," he said.
"I like you too. Please take my back to the castle." He shook his head and put his hands on his face.
"I'm an idiot, Brailee. I shouldn't have said anything. Can we please go to the beach like we had planned?" I should have ended things then. But instead we spent the night holding each other and talking about our pasts. Well mostly him talking about his. I didn't mind. I wanted to know everything about him.
Unfortunately there was a lot he left out that would take nearly a year before I learned the truth.
We were planning on going to a fair in the town. At this time our relationship was a secret. We didn't want to complicate things. A princess dating a captain just spelled trouble. As I was reading over royal documents with some of the ladies, Klark walked into the room. One of the girls stood and ran over to him, wrapping her arms around him and literally jumping on him. In a gown. VERY unlady like. "Angel I've missed you!!!" She squealed. The next few hours of being in the room with them was torture as she replayed the times that they had a thing for each other and how he had won her over with his charm. All the meanwhile he did nothing. And I had to sit, stay composed, and say nothing.
As the carriage arrived to get me, Klark walked up and said, "Fair tonight?" I shook my head. "Brailee what is wrong?" I looked at him. "Brailee what did I do?" I said nothing and climbed into the carriage.
I should have ended things then. But instead, I received a bouqet of flowers and a beautiful letter, and I forgave him and to the fair we went. And it was wonderful. Truly wonderful.
Every moment with him was. Except for the pressure he began to put on me to lower my standards to meet his. To spend the night. To be intimate. To go to taverns. He needed that in a relationship he said. They weren't a big deal he said.
And one my one I gave in. Because he gave me a feeling I'd never had. And I didn't want to lose it.
We attended weddings together. Jousting matches together. Sword fights. The world knew at this time that we were interested in each other. And I couldn't be happier.
At least I thought.
As the guilt of my lowered standards began catching up to me, I began to do more things I claimed I'd never do. Yet I still fell for him. Every day.
We only argued over whether he should attend taverns and festivals with scantily clad ladies and drugs. Our settlement was that he could attend if I were there.
There was one festival he wanted to attend in a land far away. We agreed he could if he made arrangements for me to go out there and we would spend time together exploring the land when it was done. As the time got closer to our planned trip, my feelings got stronger. Klark kept telling me he didn't believe in a love, and never wanted a family. These began weighing heavily on my mind. And the day before he was to leave, I brought it up. I decided I would not be journeying to see him. That I would stay.
I should have ended it then. But again, he changed my mind and I journeyed out to join him in the far away land. And I'm not sure I've ever had such a wonderful time before. It was magical.
Within a few weeks, Klark told me he loved me. At a tavern. And we danced the night away. We spent the day of thanks with his family. Then the winter holidays with his family.
To celebrate the new year, we had a few invitations. One was a festival, in which he informed me that he didn't really like attending those any longer (much to my excitement.) Another was a ball that the guards were having. Another was an evening with his dearest friends. We attended the ball. In which multiple ladies he had slept with were attending. That mixed with a few too many glasses (maybe bottles) of wine, created a very unroyal like, jealous, and borderline crazy, Princess Brailee. And a very upset Captain Klark. If he ever had a reason to end things, that was then. Jealous princesses falling into bushes and insisting on riding horses back to the castle alone late aren't on the list of reasons to want someone. In my defense, I wasn't used to drinking and didn't understand how to control myself yet. I was always lady like and didn't participate in those things. The next day I was full of regret as my Captain Klark left a poisoned me lying on his floor vomitting in bucket to be with his friends.
Maybe one of us could have ended things then. But we worked through it.
And in January we journeyed to my castle so he could meet my royal family. It went well.
A couple weeks later, Klark was going to see a sword fight. The fighter he was betting on lost and that night when we were to attend a guard's birthday dinner, he never showed up. I went alone. A lady in waiting went with me to find him at his friend's cottage. There were bottles everywhere. Drugs. And other women. I demanded he speak to me. A very drunken Klark came out. I told him to leave with me. He refused. I told him if he didn't then we wouldn't be together. He told me he didn't want to be with me he wanted to be with his friends. I asked him if our future meant anything and he said he didn't see a future with me.
I should have ended things then.
I left and spent the next few days sobbing and not speaking to him until he cornered me while I was going about performing royal duties. I gave in to those blue eyes and that heart melting smile. I shouldn't have. While I was home crying, he was with his friends writing apologetic love notes, when he should have been showing up at the castle throwing rocks at my window.
I know you think I'm a dumb girl for forgiving him, but I loved him. And he promised me a puppy.
Within a week he didn't show up for another night we supposed to spend together and with that I was certainly finished. Until he showed up at the castle, puppy in tow.
The next few months were amazing. I stayed with him and our puppy nearly every night. Of course he was allowed with other men a night or two a week. But every day with him was everything I wanted. We would sing my favorite songs today. He would dance with me in silence. When his soft skin touched mine, all my senses came to life. If I was hurting, he'd massage out the pain. I did the same for him. He'd lay in my lap and I'd run my fingers through his hair. We would light the candles and cook meals together. We read stories together and would get so excited about the next chapter that we could hardly wait for the next day to read it. And of course we trained our little puppy together (who would pounce on my head in the mornings and made me crazy.)
I had the little family I always wanted. But of course this story wouldn't be in here if it had a happy end.
It started when I found cigars. Klark had smoked other things (and convinced me they were harmless. And I was convinced) but never cigars. I told him I didn't tolerate that. He stopped wanting to hold me all the time. He spent a lot of time sleeping rather than paying attention to me. He began not showing up for our nights out and would go to taverns with his friends more than he would see me. Our birthday celebrations were perfect and wonderful. But I became tired of him not wanting me. My anxiety levels began rising. I started to feel alone, even when he was laying beside me.
I decided to take a lot of my items back to the castle from his home. It caused an argument of course. One where he took the puppy and left me to take the things alone. No conversation. Nothing.
Then when I broke down, he spoke to me and told me there was nothing to worry about. That he loved me. That we were meant to be. That I could be there whenever I wanted he didn't mind.
I should have just ended things. You shouldn't feel lonely in the arms of the one you love. But he kept telling me he loved me. We were meant to be. He'd never have another girlfriend if he lost me. He'd be devastated. And I felt the same.
A few weeks passed. I was informed that Tait, my ex fiance, had been remarried. This of course caused emotional turbulence. And then Klark informed me he was attending a festival. A huge festival in a land far away. Without me. He had planned this for weeks and hadn't informed me. But now he was telling me. "I can't just leave for days with only a weeks notice," I told him. "And you aren't attending that without me or we will not be in a relationship when you get back."
"I'm going. You can come Sunday. One of your ladies are coming that day to be with her boyfriend. She's ok with him going without her."
"I'm not her!" I exclaimed. "If I only go Sunday, you only go Sunday."
"I'm going. We will talk about this later," Klark replied.
The tears began to flow. "Why won't you ever just compromise!"
"There's no point in compromising when we are going to be together anyways." He said.
I was baffled. And hurt. I went home to the castle and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. No word from Klark. I made arrangements to return home to be with my family. I was hurting and I couldn't be alone. Not with this amount of pain.
The next morning a letter arrived for me. It was from Klark. Stating that he was too immature to be in a serious relationship. That he needed to "do him" right now and needed space. That this would be for the best of us and he couldn't be tied down anymore. That he wanted to take a break.
Mid twenties is a bit old for a break. I replied that we would break up we don't do breaks.
All that changing. All that forgiving. My life went from religious to lost. All those letters I wrote when he had a bad day. Gifts I left him or made him. Notes of i love you's left along the walls. My gowns are at his cottage. My puppy is at his cottage. Portraits, memories, and my heart and dreams of a family are there. There they will remain because not another word has or will be spoken to each other.
...and we lived happily never after.
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