Once upon a time...
"I'm not going," I argued with my best friend as she tried to convince me to go out. The carriage would be there in twenty minutes to take me to the ball and I was to be ready in time. My hair was still damp from my bath, my face bare. I wasn't going.
I went.
In one of my most natural looks I've ever donned for an outing before, I attended the ball. A man I had been interested in was there. He danced with me a few times, enough to satisfy me and keep me wanting him, but not enough that it drove me crazy. As he danced away from me for the third time that evening, I decided I was going to find someone new to dance with. If he wouldn't pay attention to me, someone else would. So with my best friend in tow, I found a handsome group of men, and introduced ourselves.
That is how I met Joseph.
A week later, I was attending a jousting match. As I walked with one of my dearest friends, I dropped some of my coins. I bent down to pick them up, as a man and friend also came to my aid. I looked up to thank the man, only to see a face I had seen for the first time a week ago. His brown hair combed back, his face freshly shaven (which was a bit different from the beard he had the last time I had seen him), his tan a perfect shade of caramel.
I invited him to join me where I was sitting. He obliged. I don't know the outcome of that jousting match. I was too busy lost in conversation with a man I had never expected to see again.
That night I told my mother that if I had met someone. And if that someone were to court me, I think he could be the one.
Joseph did ask me out. I would have been surprised if he hadn't. It's rare to meet someone you click with so easily. I was ecstatic and prepared for another comfortable night with someone who was on the same level as I was.
Was I ever wrong.
It was one of the worst dates I've ever been on. We attended a tavern to watch a fight. Not a classy sword fight. Or jousting match. But fists. And blood. Not a place for a princess. After, he treated me to ice cream and proceeded to talk about all these women he found attractive. And how he thought blondes were evil based on his most recent relationship. (One I came to find out, was a few dates over a period of 6 months in which he was the other man.)
As we exited, I told him he wasn't what I thought he would be and that I was disappointed with his choice of conversation. He apologized and asked me to give him a chance to make it up to me with a walk by the beach. What girl would say no?!
A smart girl would.
We went out a couple more times, all to the beach. I loved learning about him. We would stay in the carriage until the early hours of the morning talking about life. While we had some different views, I had never felt so comfortable with someone in a long time.
I invited him to attend a gathering one of my friends was having. I thought it would be great to introduce him to people I knew.
The evening did not go quite as well as I thought it would. He disappeared to go dance. Supposedly alone, for most of the evening. Until the end in which he stole me away to go on a walk.
When the carriage arrived to the castle, he leaned in and finally kissed me for the first time. A wet forced disgusting kiss. Then asked if we could go inside to my bedroom. I declined and we continued kissing. Only for him to ask the same question two more times.
Finally, I let him have it. I told him I was not going to date someone who did not respect my boundaries, who disappeared on me at gatherings, and who talked to me about how attractive other women were.
That should have been the end. But there was something there that I hadn't felt in so long. And we continued to date.
It started off even more rocky when I broke my foot on a romantic walk with him. And he didn't believe me it was broken until a physician confirmed.
At another gathering, he left me to be a gentleman and get me something to eat. Only to be hit on by another woman. And not shut it down. I was upset that he would give her his information when he had been dating me. And when he should have been with me. We had arguments over politics and he compared me to his even ex sister in law who ruined his brother's life. Are these all reasons to stop seeing someone? Yes. Should I have stopped? Yes. But his longest relationship was 4 months. He was inexperienced. He didn't know better. He wanted to fight for me. People who hold his work position are a bit anti social. Excuse after excuse.
After that, it was romantic dinners, nights in the public baths, balls, walks on the beach. Everything was absolutely fairytale perfect. "I knew it," I thought to myself. I just needed some patience and everything would be fine.
We attending a thanksgiving feast with friends. Or at least we showed up in the carriage together and left in the carriage together. Where Joseph was the rest of the evening I am unsure. During the carriage ride back to the castle I got very very sick. Lets just say I didn't make it to the castle to relieve myself. When we finally arrived, I was sweating, running a fever, shaking, and my stomach might as well have been in the middle of world war 3. As Joseph walked me to the door, he asked, "Are you really sick or just being emotional?"
That was our last conversation before he went out of town. And when he returned, seeing me wasn't a priority on his list. In fact he didn't want to see me for another week after he returned.
I know, you're all scratching your heads wondering why I didn't end things then.
I tried.
I don't know if it was his deep voice, or the way his hands grabbed mine perfectly, or his full lips that I could never imagine touching anyone else's, or his broad strong shoulders, every muscle perfectly chiseled. Or maybe the way he made me laugh until my belly hurt, or the way we could talk about anything in the world, maybe the way I hadn't been able to be so open with someone in years. But alas, my breakup attempt was thwarted by my undying attraction for Joseph. And we continued to date.
And it was amazing. The holidays were perfect. We went on a trip together to another land. And it was wonderful. When we returned, he didn't kiss me goodbye but rather decided he needed to attend church (which I would have happily attended with him, had I known.)
It wasn't until the end of January when I opened up to him about a lot of my past that he decided I wasn't worthy of him. At six months of dating, we were at the point that he felt we should get engaged or married shortly after and he didn't want that with me. Or rather someone with a past such as mine. I told him fine to go figure it out. We had never said we loved each other. I wasn't ready to get married to him. I wanted to keep dating. But if that is how he felt then he needed to figure it out.
Joseph was scared of marriage. And when I asked what he was scared of with me, it was that "I loved my dog more than I'd love our children." or that I "would sit around all day while he worked hard to provide." And my past of course, which I had taken care of with my bishop. I told him if god didn't hold it against me, neither could he.
I stayed strong, but cried daily. Joseph still wrote me letters. I never replied. I prayed. Only felt to be patient. So I was.
And he came back a few weeks later.
So we kept dating.
Joseph moved closer to me. I was ecstatic. We would see each other more. We could attend church together. This would strengthen us.
It was really our undoing.
I found him a place to live, because he didn't. I helped him move all of his belongings, because no one else offered.
And as soon as he was closer, I saw him less and heard from him less. I bought him a house warming gift, a beautiful china set since he had only a couple plates and forks. It sits unopened in his cupboard. I have never seen it used.
My parents finally traveled to my castle and I excitedly planned for them to meet Joseph. They were underwhelmed after meeting him. Citing they believed him to have a social disorder and stating he would never commit to me.
But they didn't know.
They've never been wrong before, but this time they were wrong. I loved Joseph and although he had never told me it back, I knew deep down he loved me and that we would be wed.
We all attended church together. After the first hour my parents exited the pew, expecting Joseph and I to follow. Unfortunately he was too occupied with women talking to him to be worried about impressing my parents. In frustration, I shoved past one of the girls. Which for months later led to arguments about him believing I was jealous and didn't want him to have friends or to talk to anyone at church.
I just wanted my parents to love him like I did.
At a get together with his friends, there were ladies there. One of which was talking about sexual conversations with men. Joseph asked a lot of question regarding her conversations. Thankfully, this topic died.
Only for him to bring it up. Two more times. I finally said something. Which of course led to more accusations of jealousy.
I finally got the opportunity to meet his mother. An honor he had told me no other girl had ever had before. Turns out I was not the first. Or second. Or third. My meeting with his mother went very well. She was darling and kind and we had a great conversation. Joseph on the other hand, wouldn't sit near me, or stand near me, or touch me, or even make contact with me. I wouldn't be surprised if his mother questioned whether he even had the slightest of interest in me.
I met some of his other family members, who I instantly fell in love with. I attended musical concerts of his cousin (even though he would leave me while I was in the lady's room.) I watched his niece for his brother while he courted his lady (despite being divorced, they were less scared of marriage than Joseph.)
But as the months passed, Joseph still never told me he loved me. And it began to weigh on me. When I asked him, he said you can't force it. And that he cared he just shows it differently. He hides his feelings he said. I asked again months later. He said he was getting there. I believed him. He planned a ship journey for me in the fall, and I was to attend his best friend's wedding with him in the fall as well. We talked about names for our children. How we would handle finances.
Should I have been? When sometimes at gatherings, he would walk in and ignore me for up to 20 minutes before coming up to me? When he would bail on me to go out with his friends? When he would hide things from me all the time? When he called me a toddler when I would cry over my feelings being hurt? When he left me crying after a supper in a lot, in the dark, alone? When after my grandmother passed away, he didn't console me or hug me, but asked if I had a cold because I was sniffling?
It took until I was tired of being mistreated for us to come undone. I had had it and said something. Which caused him to need to rethink our relationship. He asked why I wanted to be with him when I began begging him to stay.
I told him it was the way he held me and the way I felt safe there. The way his heartbeat was the only music I needed the rest of my life. It was the fact that if I never got to see places I had dreamed of my whole life it was alright, because no place would ever be as wonderful as being held in his arms was. It was the way I loved every person in his family and wanted to give them the world after hardly knowing them. It was the way I would see things and think of him and how he would love that. It was the cheap candles he would light. Or the fact he wore shoes with holes in them, because he refused to spend money on something new. It was how he burnt the cake he made on my birthday, because he was lost in conversation with me. It was how I attended things I had no interest in before, but now wanted to do because he loved doing them. Or how he didn't like my taste of music, but would listen if it made me happy. It was the after church naps we took together in which him laying beside me was better than any dream I could possibly have in my unconscious state. It was the way his hand clutched his stomach while the other went to his mouth when he would say something he thought was funny. And his embarrassingly inappropriate jokes that I never had any response to other than to roll my eyes. It was the feeling of wanting to be there to rub his feet and make him supper after a long work day. Or to be there to care for him if he were ever injured, because the thought of him being in pain made me feel pain. It was his insanely attractive dance moves that while half of them were silly and ridiculous, the other half were so sexy. It was the way that even if I felt so angry or frustrated at him, that a prayer would fill me with peace and an extreme amount of love for him. It was the way he complained every time he spent money, but would still spend it on me. It was the pink brush he used to comb his hair. Or the nights I'd spend cutting his insane cowlick in the back of his hair. His brown hair that I wanted to run my fingers through forever. It was the way that I always wanted to run to him to feel better. Or that anything I wanted to try I wanted him by my side for. It was the inspirational speeches he gave me when times were hard. It was the hours I spent looking at homes or trips or things to surprise him with. It was the brown eyed, brown haired, olive skinned babies I could see in his arms in our future. It was the way we both had the same goals and values in life. It was the way he looked in white in the temple. And the way I felt when he took my hand. It was the way I feel every time I think back to the night I almost didn't go to the ball and think to myself, what if I hadn't. It was the way I was fighting for him now. Unwilling to let him go.
Days passed until I received a letter. Joseph didn't come to me in person. In the letter, he said that he realized after not seeing me for a week that he did not miss me, nor care to see me or talk to me. He wrote that any of my spiritual feelings regarding our relationship were made up simply because I wanted to be with him so badly. He said that he could not see himself loving me. When picturing his five year plan, the thought of me being in it made him sick.
I didn't shed a tear. I couldn't breathe. I responded with an ok and asked him to attend the church meeting in which he was in the boundaries for.
That was all I asked.
And that was apparently too much.
Because he still attends my church meeting. Even though he isn't in the boundaries.
He has get togethers with my friends at his house weekly.
He attends my church class, the one he never would attend with me.
He tried to talk to me once. I politely turned my attention to someone else. If he had wanted my attention, he shouldn't have broken up with me.
He's had a lot of female attention since. And I've had to watch, and pretend I don't care. While it kills me inside.
Because although it wasn't what I wanted or thought was going to happen,
...we lived happily never after.
Friday, July 28, 2017
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Chapter Thirty Five: Terrence Part Two
Once upon a time...
As I was journeying back home after my heartbreak, I wrote a letter to Terrence informing him I would be arriving and a visit from him would be enjoyed. He agreed and we made arrangements to see each other.
He arrived at the castle and helped me onto the horse and we galloped away.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"You'll see," he replied.
We arrived at the river where he helped me off the horse. We walked to the edge of the river. "Do you remember what happened here?" Terrence asked. My stomach flipped. I did. I knew what he was going to do, but I wasn't sure I was ready. "Can I kiss you?" he asked. I nodded. He leaned in and kissed me.
If I ever liked his kissing, I sure didn't this time. Or maybe it just was because I was used to Klark's lips. Either way, there was no butterflies and his mouth opened like a snake. As though his jaw unhinged and was going to devour my face.
After what felt like hours, I arrived back at the castle and bid him goodnight.
A couple weeks later, I was set to return home to visit my family yet again. Of course I wrote a letter to Terrence suggesting I see him yet again. This time his response was that he was not eligible any longer.
Before I returned home, the announcement spread to me that not only was Terrence not eligible, but he was also engaged to be married. Two weeks after we kissed.
A man who is kissing other women with his unhinged jaw a couple weeks prior to getting engaged? I think she's the one with the unhappy ending.
...and we lived happily never after.
As I was journeying back home after my heartbreak, I wrote a letter to Terrence informing him I would be arriving and a visit from him would be enjoyed. He agreed and we made arrangements to see each other.
He arrived at the castle and helped me onto the horse and we galloped away.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"You'll see," he replied.
We arrived at the river where he helped me off the horse. We walked to the edge of the river. "Do you remember what happened here?" Terrence asked. My stomach flipped. I did. I knew what he was going to do, but I wasn't sure I was ready. "Can I kiss you?" he asked. I nodded. He leaned in and kissed me.
If I ever liked his kissing, I sure didn't this time. Or maybe it just was because I was used to Klark's lips. Either way, there was no butterflies and his mouth opened like a snake. As though his jaw unhinged and was going to devour my face.
After what felt like hours, I arrived back at the castle and bid him goodnight.
A couple weeks later, I was set to return home to visit my family yet again. Of course I wrote a letter to Terrence suggesting I see him yet again. This time his response was that he was not eligible any longer.
Before I returned home, the announcement spread to me that not only was Terrence not eligible, but he was also engaged to be married. Two weeks after we kissed.
A man who is kissing other women with his unhinged jaw a couple weeks prior to getting engaged? I think she's the one with the unhappy ending.
...and we lived happily never after.
Chapter Thirty Four: Klark
Once upon a time...
It was love at first sight. It was my first day in princess training in a new land. He walked in and it was unlike anything I have ever felt. It was like lightning hit me. He wasn't as handsome as some I've dated. He had strange cowlics in his light brown hair that was slicked back. His nose curved out and there were strong wrinkles in the corner of his eyes when he smiled. His teeth were a bit small but his smile was contagious and I've never seen a man with so much charisma in all my life. Captain Klark was his name.
I saw him almost daily, as he was the captain of the guards. Each day I eagerly searched him out and when I saw him, it was like my heart stopped beating and he was all I could see. I kept trying to get his attention. Wearing my dress a little lower, batting my eyes, even caressing his smooth face with my new silk gloves. I couldn't get his attention.
One day as I was venting to my lady's maid about a man I was to be attending a ball with, Klark took a seat next to us. Hearing my predicament, he told me not to go with the guy and to spend the evening with him.
Which is exactly what I did. I spent the evening in his arms and even kissed him. Yes the first night with him. And there were fireworks. Not just figuratively. The land was having a big celebration and there were fireworks and rather than being a part of the festivities, I was in Klark's arms. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
A few days later as we were riding to the beach on his white horse, he slowed the horse to a stop. "Brailee, something has been weighing on my mind. I want a lady who will go to the taverns with me and likes to dance and drink." My heart dropped to my stomach. "You know that's not my lifestyle," I replied.
"I know, but that's what I want."
"Alright," I replied. "Then please take me back to the castle." He reached for my hand.
"I really like you," he said.
"I like you too. Please take my back to the castle." He shook his head and put his hands on his face.
"I'm an idiot, Brailee. I shouldn't have said anything. Can we please go to the beach like we had planned?" I should have ended things then. But instead we spent the night holding each other and talking about our pasts. Well mostly him talking about his. I didn't mind. I wanted to know everything about him.
Unfortunately there was a lot he left out that would take nearly a year before I learned the truth.
We were planning on going to a fair in the town. At this time our relationship was a secret. We didn't want to complicate things. A princess dating a captain just spelled trouble. As I was reading over royal documents with some of the ladies, Klark walked into the room. One of the girls stood and ran over to him, wrapping her arms around him and literally jumping on him. In a gown. VERY unlady like. "Angel I've missed you!!!" She squealed. The next few hours of being in the room with them was torture as she replayed the times that they had a thing for each other and how he had won her over with his charm. All the meanwhile he did nothing. And I had to sit, stay composed, and say nothing.
As the carriage arrived to get me, Klark walked up and said, "Fair tonight?" I shook my head. "Brailee what is wrong?" I looked at him. "Brailee what did I do?" I said nothing and climbed into the carriage.
I should have ended things then. But instead, I received a bouqet of flowers and a beautiful letter, and I forgave him and to the fair we went. And it was wonderful. Truly wonderful.
Every moment with him was. Except for the pressure he began to put on me to lower my standards to meet his. To spend the night. To be intimate. To go to taverns. He needed that in a relationship he said. They weren't a big deal he said.
And one my one I gave in. Because he gave me a feeling I'd never had. And I didn't want to lose it.
We attended weddings together. Jousting matches together. Sword fights. The world knew at this time that we were interested in each other. And I couldn't be happier.
At least I thought.
As the guilt of my lowered standards began catching up to me, I began to do more things I claimed I'd never do. Yet I still fell for him. Every day.
We only argued over whether he should attend taverns and festivals with scantily clad ladies and drugs. Our settlement was that he could attend if I were there.
There was one festival he wanted to attend in a land far away. We agreed he could if he made arrangements for me to go out there and we would spend time together exploring the land when it was done. As the time got closer to our planned trip, my feelings got stronger. Klark kept telling me he didn't believe in a love, and never wanted a family. These began weighing heavily on my mind. And the day before he was to leave, I brought it up. I decided I would not be journeying to see him. That I would stay.
I should have ended it then. But again, he changed my mind and I journeyed out to join him in the far away land. And I'm not sure I've ever had such a wonderful time before. It was magical.
Within a few weeks, Klark told me he loved me. At a tavern. And we danced the night away. We spent the day of thanks with his family. Then the winter holidays with his family.
To celebrate the new year, we had a few invitations. One was a festival, in which he informed me that he didn't really like attending those any longer (much to my excitement.) Another was a ball that the guards were having. Another was an evening with his dearest friends. We attended the ball. In which multiple ladies he had slept with were attending. That mixed with a few too many glasses (maybe bottles) of wine, created a very unroyal like, jealous, and borderline crazy, Princess Brailee. And a very upset Captain Klark. If he ever had a reason to end things, that was then. Jealous princesses falling into bushes and insisting on riding horses back to the castle alone late aren't on the list of reasons to want someone. In my defense, I wasn't used to drinking and didn't understand how to control myself yet. I was always lady like and didn't participate in those things. The next day I was full of regret as my Captain Klark left a poisoned me lying on his floor vomitting in bucket to be with his friends.
Maybe one of us could have ended things then. But we worked through it.
And in January we journeyed to my castle so he could meet my royal family. It went well.
A couple weeks later, Klark was going to see a sword fight. The fighter he was betting on lost and that night when we were to attend a guard's birthday dinner, he never showed up. I went alone. A lady in waiting went with me to find him at his friend's cottage. There were bottles everywhere. Drugs. And other women. I demanded he speak to me. A very drunken Klark came out. I told him to leave with me. He refused. I told him if he didn't then we wouldn't be together. He told me he didn't want to be with me he wanted to be with his friends. I asked him if our future meant anything and he said he didn't see a future with me.
I should have ended things then.
I left and spent the next few days sobbing and not speaking to him until he cornered me while I was going about performing royal duties. I gave in to those blue eyes and that heart melting smile. I shouldn't have. While I was home crying, he was with his friends writing apologetic love notes, when he should have been showing up at the castle throwing rocks at my window.
I know you think I'm a dumb girl for forgiving him, but I loved him. And he promised me a puppy.
Within a week he didn't show up for another night we supposed to spend together and with that I was certainly finished. Until he showed up at the castle, puppy in tow.
The next few months were amazing. I stayed with him and our puppy nearly every night. Of course he was allowed with other men a night or two a week. But every day with him was everything I wanted. We would sing my favorite songs today. He would dance with me in silence. When his soft skin touched mine, all my senses came to life. If I was hurting, he'd massage out the pain. I did the same for him. He'd lay in my lap and I'd run my fingers through his hair. We would light the candles and cook meals together. We read stories together and would get so excited about the next chapter that we could hardly wait for the next day to read it. And of course we trained our little puppy together (who would pounce on my head in the mornings and made me crazy.)
I had the little family I always wanted. But of course this story wouldn't be in here if it had a happy end.
It started when I found cigars. Klark had smoked other things (and convinced me they were harmless. And I was convinced) but never cigars. I told him I didn't tolerate that. He stopped wanting to hold me all the time. He spent a lot of time sleeping rather than paying attention to me. He began not showing up for our nights out and would go to taverns with his friends more than he would see me. Our birthday celebrations were perfect and wonderful. But I became tired of him not wanting me. My anxiety levels began rising. I started to feel alone, even when he was laying beside me.
I decided to take a lot of my items back to the castle from his home. It caused an argument of course. One where he took the puppy and left me to take the things alone. No conversation. Nothing.
Then when I broke down, he spoke to me and told me there was nothing to worry about. That he loved me. That we were meant to be. That I could be there whenever I wanted he didn't mind.
I should have just ended things. You shouldn't feel lonely in the arms of the one you love. But he kept telling me he loved me. We were meant to be. He'd never have another girlfriend if he lost me. He'd be devastated. And I felt the same.
A few weeks passed. I was informed that Tait, my ex fiance, had been remarried. This of course caused emotional turbulence. And then Klark informed me he was attending a festival. A huge festival in a land far away. Without me. He had planned this for weeks and hadn't informed me. But now he was telling me. "I can't just leave for days with only a weeks notice," I told him. "And you aren't attending that without me or we will not be in a relationship when you get back."
"I'm going. You can come Sunday. One of your ladies are coming that day to be with her boyfriend. She's ok with him going without her."
"I'm not her!" I exclaimed. "If I only go Sunday, you only go Sunday."
"I'm going. We will talk about this later," Klark replied.
The tears began to flow. "Why won't you ever just compromise!"
"There's no point in compromising when we are going to be together anyways." He said.
I was baffled. And hurt. I went home to the castle and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. No word from Klark. I made arrangements to return home to be with my family. I was hurting and I couldn't be alone. Not with this amount of pain.
The next morning a letter arrived for me. It was from Klark. Stating that he was too immature to be in a serious relationship. That he needed to "do him" right now and needed space. That this would be for the best of us and he couldn't be tied down anymore. That he wanted to take a break.
Mid twenties is a bit old for a break. I replied that we would break up we don't do breaks.
All that changing. All that forgiving. My life went from religious to lost. All those letters I wrote when he had a bad day. Gifts I left him or made him. Notes of i love you's left along the walls. My gowns are at his cottage. My puppy is at his cottage. Portraits, memories, and my heart and dreams of a family are there. There they will remain because not another word has or will be spoken to each other.
...and we lived happily never after.
It was love at first sight. It was my first day in princess training in a new land. He walked in and it was unlike anything I have ever felt. It was like lightning hit me. He wasn't as handsome as some I've dated. He had strange cowlics in his light brown hair that was slicked back. His nose curved out and there were strong wrinkles in the corner of his eyes when he smiled. His teeth were a bit small but his smile was contagious and I've never seen a man with so much charisma in all my life. Captain Klark was his name.
I saw him almost daily, as he was the captain of the guards. Each day I eagerly searched him out and when I saw him, it was like my heart stopped beating and he was all I could see. I kept trying to get his attention. Wearing my dress a little lower, batting my eyes, even caressing his smooth face with my new silk gloves. I couldn't get his attention.
One day as I was venting to my lady's maid about a man I was to be attending a ball with, Klark took a seat next to us. Hearing my predicament, he told me not to go with the guy and to spend the evening with him.
Which is exactly what I did. I spent the evening in his arms and even kissed him. Yes the first night with him. And there were fireworks. Not just figuratively. The land was having a big celebration and there were fireworks and rather than being a part of the festivities, I was in Klark's arms. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
A few days later as we were riding to the beach on his white horse, he slowed the horse to a stop. "Brailee, something has been weighing on my mind. I want a lady who will go to the taverns with me and likes to dance and drink." My heart dropped to my stomach. "You know that's not my lifestyle," I replied.
"I know, but that's what I want."
"Alright," I replied. "Then please take me back to the castle." He reached for my hand.
"I really like you," he said.
"I like you too. Please take my back to the castle." He shook his head and put his hands on his face.
"I'm an idiot, Brailee. I shouldn't have said anything. Can we please go to the beach like we had planned?" I should have ended things then. But instead we spent the night holding each other and talking about our pasts. Well mostly him talking about his. I didn't mind. I wanted to know everything about him.
Unfortunately there was a lot he left out that would take nearly a year before I learned the truth.
We were planning on going to a fair in the town. At this time our relationship was a secret. We didn't want to complicate things. A princess dating a captain just spelled trouble. As I was reading over royal documents with some of the ladies, Klark walked into the room. One of the girls stood and ran over to him, wrapping her arms around him and literally jumping on him. In a gown. VERY unlady like. "Angel I've missed you!!!" She squealed. The next few hours of being in the room with them was torture as she replayed the times that they had a thing for each other and how he had won her over with his charm. All the meanwhile he did nothing. And I had to sit, stay composed, and say nothing.
As the carriage arrived to get me, Klark walked up and said, "Fair tonight?" I shook my head. "Brailee what is wrong?" I looked at him. "Brailee what did I do?" I said nothing and climbed into the carriage.
I should have ended things then. But instead, I received a bouqet of flowers and a beautiful letter, and I forgave him and to the fair we went. And it was wonderful. Truly wonderful.
Every moment with him was. Except for the pressure he began to put on me to lower my standards to meet his. To spend the night. To be intimate. To go to taverns. He needed that in a relationship he said. They weren't a big deal he said.
And one my one I gave in. Because he gave me a feeling I'd never had. And I didn't want to lose it.
We attended weddings together. Jousting matches together. Sword fights. The world knew at this time that we were interested in each other. And I couldn't be happier.
At least I thought.
As the guilt of my lowered standards began catching up to me, I began to do more things I claimed I'd never do. Yet I still fell for him. Every day.
We only argued over whether he should attend taverns and festivals with scantily clad ladies and drugs. Our settlement was that he could attend if I were there.
There was one festival he wanted to attend in a land far away. We agreed he could if he made arrangements for me to go out there and we would spend time together exploring the land when it was done. As the time got closer to our planned trip, my feelings got stronger. Klark kept telling me he didn't believe in a love, and never wanted a family. These began weighing heavily on my mind. And the day before he was to leave, I brought it up. I decided I would not be journeying to see him. That I would stay.
I should have ended it then. But again, he changed my mind and I journeyed out to join him in the far away land. And I'm not sure I've ever had such a wonderful time before. It was magical.
Within a few weeks, Klark told me he loved me. At a tavern. And we danced the night away. We spent the day of thanks with his family. Then the winter holidays with his family.
To celebrate the new year, we had a few invitations. One was a festival, in which he informed me that he didn't really like attending those any longer (much to my excitement.) Another was a ball that the guards were having. Another was an evening with his dearest friends. We attended the ball. In which multiple ladies he had slept with were attending. That mixed with a few too many glasses (maybe bottles) of wine, created a very unroyal like, jealous, and borderline crazy, Princess Brailee. And a very upset Captain Klark. If he ever had a reason to end things, that was then. Jealous princesses falling into bushes and insisting on riding horses back to the castle alone late aren't on the list of reasons to want someone. In my defense, I wasn't used to drinking and didn't understand how to control myself yet. I was always lady like and didn't participate in those things. The next day I was full of regret as my Captain Klark left a poisoned me lying on his floor vomitting in bucket to be with his friends.
Maybe one of us could have ended things then. But we worked through it.
And in January we journeyed to my castle so he could meet my royal family. It went well.
A couple weeks later, Klark was going to see a sword fight. The fighter he was betting on lost and that night when we were to attend a guard's birthday dinner, he never showed up. I went alone. A lady in waiting went with me to find him at his friend's cottage. There were bottles everywhere. Drugs. And other women. I demanded he speak to me. A very drunken Klark came out. I told him to leave with me. He refused. I told him if he didn't then we wouldn't be together. He told me he didn't want to be with me he wanted to be with his friends. I asked him if our future meant anything and he said he didn't see a future with me.
I should have ended things then.
I left and spent the next few days sobbing and not speaking to him until he cornered me while I was going about performing royal duties. I gave in to those blue eyes and that heart melting smile. I shouldn't have. While I was home crying, he was with his friends writing apologetic love notes, when he should have been showing up at the castle throwing rocks at my window.
I know you think I'm a dumb girl for forgiving him, but I loved him. And he promised me a puppy.
Within a week he didn't show up for another night we supposed to spend together and with that I was certainly finished. Until he showed up at the castle, puppy in tow.
The next few months were amazing. I stayed with him and our puppy nearly every night. Of course he was allowed with other men a night or two a week. But every day with him was everything I wanted. We would sing my favorite songs today. He would dance with me in silence. When his soft skin touched mine, all my senses came to life. If I was hurting, he'd massage out the pain. I did the same for him. He'd lay in my lap and I'd run my fingers through his hair. We would light the candles and cook meals together. We read stories together and would get so excited about the next chapter that we could hardly wait for the next day to read it. And of course we trained our little puppy together (who would pounce on my head in the mornings and made me crazy.)
I had the little family I always wanted. But of course this story wouldn't be in here if it had a happy end.
It started when I found cigars. Klark had smoked other things (and convinced me they were harmless. And I was convinced) but never cigars. I told him I didn't tolerate that. He stopped wanting to hold me all the time. He spent a lot of time sleeping rather than paying attention to me. He began not showing up for our nights out and would go to taverns with his friends more than he would see me. Our birthday celebrations were perfect and wonderful. But I became tired of him not wanting me. My anxiety levels began rising. I started to feel alone, even when he was laying beside me.
I decided to take a lot of my items back to the castle from his home. It caused an argument of course. One where he took the puppy and left me to take the things alone. No conversation. Nothing.
Then when I broke down, he spoke to me and told me there was nothing to worry about. That he loved me. That we were meant to be. That I could be there whenever I wanted he didn't mind.
I should have just ended things. You shouldn't feel lonely in the arms of the one you love. But he kept telling me he loved me. We were meant to be. He'd never have another girlfriend if he lost me. He'd be devastated. And I felt the same.
A few weeks passed. I was informed that Tait, my ex fiance, had been remarried. This of course caused emotional turbulence. And then Klark informed me he was attending a festival. A huge festival in a land far away. Without me. He had planned this for weeks and hadn't informed me. But now he was telling me. "I can't just leave for days with only a weeks notice," I told him. "And you aren't attending that without me or we will not be in a relationship when you get back."
"I'm going. You can come Sunday. One of your ladies are coming that day to be with her boyfriend. She's ok with him going without her."
"I'm not her!" I exclaimed. "If I only go Sunday, you only go Sunday."
"I'm going. We will talk about this later," Klark replied.
The tears began to flow. "Why won't you ever just compromise!"
"There's no point in compromising when we are going to be together anyways." He said.
I was baffled. And hurt. I went home to the castle and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. No word from Klark. I made arrangements to return home to be with my family. I was hurting and I couldn't be alone. Not with this amount of pain.
The next morning a letter arrived for me. It was from Klark. Stating that he was too immature to be in a serious relationship. That he needed to "do him" right now and needed space. That this would be for the best of us and he couldn't be tied down anymore. That he wanted to take a break.
Mid twenties is a bit old for a break. I replied that we would break up we don't do breaks.
All that changing. All that forgiving. My life went from religious to lost. All those letters I wrote when he had a bad day. Gifts I left him or made him. Notes of i love you's left along the walls. My gowns are at his cottage. My puppy is at his cottage. Portraits, memories, and my heart and dreams of a family are there. There they will remain because not another word has or will be spoken to each other.
...and we lived happily never after.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Chapter Thirty Three: Dick
Once upon a time...
Four years ago to be precise I was at the place of worship. I was currently in a relationship with Kelton and was seated next to him when a boy walked in. He was tall, pale, broad shoulders, light gray blue eyes, dark brown hair. I had this feeling when I saw him that I had known him before. I couldn't figure out where. I assumed I had met him in the villages, but that feeling stuck with me. As did the attraction I instantly felt to him. Of course I couldn't have him for I was already with someone, but if I couldn't have him I wanted my best friend to. So I began matchmaking.
We went on outings as a double paired couple and I would spend time with him during events in the town. Unfortunately around the same time Kelton and I went different ways, this beautiful boy named Dick moved away. Within a few months he was wed to a girl I'd never pair him with. And as predicted, within 6 months their marriage disintegrated. As it fell apart, I was getting together with the love of my life, Tait.
When Tait ended our engagement, I thought no one in this entire world would know my heartbreak better than Dick would. So of course I turned to him for support. What I got however, was asked out. And it was cancelled. Repeat for three more dates until he finally followed through. On our first outing to see a jester, Dick brought his cousin along. And flirted with a girl there. Not at all what I wanted or needed.
A month or so passed before he asked me out again. This time we had a lovely dinner and enjoyed being frightened by people dressed to scare us. It was spontaneous and fun. And that became our relationship.
Unfortunately he never really seemed to open up to me or seem to like me more as time went on. He didn't want to hear me sing for it would make him feel awkward. I had written a book and shared it with him, of which he was not all impressed. His ex wife inflicted conflict in our relationship as she constantly wrote him. It didn't bother me all too much for I was dealing with the pain from Tait still. However, it plagued the back of my mind. At the place of worship his past girlfriend showed up and he paid more attention to her than I.
His sister was called on a mission in a far away land and time grew less with me in order to spend time with her. Upon her departure, I was given news that my royal duties were going to take me far away as well. Rather than him growing closer to me, I received a letter stating we were to go our separate ways.
There was nothing to be done about it for I was leaving for some time. I was upset, but let it be. Within a couple weeks news broke to me that he was spending time with yet another ex girlfriend of his. A few weeks later he had a new girlfriend. And another month before he loved her. He had never told me he loved me.
It hurt me. Mostly, because I had trusted him after things happened with Tait. However, my heart had been with Tait the entire time so I wasn't broken about it.
I spent the next seven months in agony over my broken engagement. On a random day I received a letter from Dick. He and his girl had parted ways. We began to keep in contact. I would tell him my pain about Tait. He would tell me his about his ex, of whom he wanted to marry. Due to our conversations I wrote to Tait to try to revive our broken relationship. He wasn't interested. Luckily, Dick was there to help me through it.
I enjoyed my letters with Dick. They were helpful and encouraging. He made me laugh. I invited him to visit me, and he took my offer. When he arrived, I wasn't sure whether we were friends or more, so I kept it as friends. That turned out to be a wise decision for he had been out with another woman a week prior celebrating her birthday. I was a bit jealous, and due to my stubborness, definitely did not want to be more than friends during his visit. His humor and handsomeness quickly won me over. We stayed up late sitting by the fire, him laying with his head in my lap and I'd play with his hair. I was smitten and was knew I could feel for someone again. On a day when my emotions went out of control, he laughed and thought it was amusing how I felt so much in less than 10 minutes. That was a relief to me.
His stay ended swiftly, but we continued to write. Until I decided to return to my land and my castle. However, there was a chance I was to attend to royal duties elsewhere so the length of my return was unknown.
Upon my arrival, I was greeted by Dick with a bouqet of flowers. His face turned bright red from embarrassment as people watched us. I was so excited to see him I couldn't let go of him!!!! The remainder of the next week was pure bliss. Complete happiness.
Unfortunately for me, my fairy tale of course never has happy endings.
Our relationship began to have fights. I was insecure about the depth of his desire for the woman he dated during our time apart. I had fallen in love with him when we were thousands of miles away. He, however, didn't feel that way for me. I couldn't bear knowing he cared more for another. He wouldn't reassure me either. He would add to the fire.
When the news came that I was to officially depart again, our relationship turned dark.
He began to not care to talk or see me often. It was a struggle for him to be on time for outings. He never complimented me. He wouldn't be affectionate with me. One day he was writing a religious speech and I leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, in which he forcefully shoved me away telling me that he would lose the spirit if I touched him. He would accuse me of wanting other men and when I reassured him of how wonderful he was and what he meant to me, he wouldn't listen and would get upset.
He informed me that if we were to be married we needed children right away for I was aging and he would not have unhealthy children. When I told him I wanted to wait before having children, he would get upset. We couldn't see eye to eye on our future. I wanted a husband who put me first, not my children first. And all he cared about was money and having children.
On Valentine's Day we were struggling a bit in our relationship. I had spent days making a gift of his favorite things. And he had planned a thoughtful outing. We were served a wonderful breakfast and then we went swimming water located above a dormant volcano. Most men when they saw me in less attire were quick to compliment. Dick was not. If I touched him in the water he would push me away for being inappropriate. On our return to the castle he said some very mean things to me and as soon as I shut the carriage door, he whipped the horses to take off as fast as they could, leaving me covered in a cloud of dust. I walked through the castle doors, tears streaming down my cheeks, and into my mother's arms. "Dick is so mean," I cried.
We worked through it, of course, after screaming and tears, only to end up fighting more and more. He wouldn't accept responsibility for any of his actions. I always took the blame.
If I was insecure, he was not understanding. He would leave me sobbing because he had enough. I had drinks of mine thrown out windows and broken when I spoke of feelings. I wanted him to be affectionate with me, and he treated me like a leper.
I've never felt so ugly unattractive and unloved in any relationship I'd had. I wanted to stick it out. I loved his family. I had seen him be good to others. I knew he could be good to me. He just had problems from his previous marriage, right?
The rest of my time with him, I was called dramatic and that my reactions to him were crazy and that I didn't want him to have the spirit. He would lie about things to me, including seeing the bishop because we had sinned for making out. Of which, the bishop didn't punish him, just informed him to be careful. which proved that we didn't need to talk to the bishop.
We decided to stay together when I departed to a far away land. He finally told me he loved me and I told him I didn't want anyone else for I loved him too. It was an unhealthy love however. And I knew it. But I had waited four years for this and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, but Dick or Tait. I had already lost Tait. I couldn't go through it again.
There were weeks that would pass without a word from Dick. And when we spoke, kind words were never exchanged. He never informed me about his life, and never seemed interested to hear of mine. He would tell me I was inappropriate and bad and that things I did or thought were not ok. I told him to stop acting so much higher and mightier than everyone. And I received the silent treatment for it. He told me I pressured him too much and that I told him how to love me, which made him not want to. He told me I was overbearing and exhausting and that I would make him miserable like his ex wife did. He accused me of trying to sleep with him and take the spirit from him. He told me he had doubts about me and that we shouldn't discuss a future together.
I was ready to end it, for why be with someone who doesn't see a future with you? I wanted a family. I had since Tait. I wanted a husband. One who was my best friend. Someone I could love unconditionally and who would love me back. One who I could tell anything to. One who would hold me if I was frightened or sad. One who would save me if I needed it. A best friend. A lover. An eternal companion.
Dick had told me if a war happened, I would be on my own. He said he would fight. I had asked what about me? And he said he wouldn't stay and protect me that he needed to be out protecting everyone. To me, if I was in a sinking boat, I'd jump off a lifeboat onto the sinking boat if he weren't allowed to leave. I would have stayed with him. He would have left.
I received news that Dick was spending time with a companion of his sister's. This made me jealous for I wasn't able to be with him. Another girl got to spend time with him. She got to be with his family. I didn't. And he didn't understand why I would be jealous of that.
My birthday came and Dick had not gotten a birthday present for me. He had been too busy. He had told me he couldn't be long distance forever and that I needed to return to my land. I had only been gone for a month and my duty did not allow that. He said everyone said that if I truly loved him that I would not have left. I said if he truly loved me he would have come with me. Later that evening, after more tears than a birthday princess should shed, I ended things with Dick.
I was sad for the next day, but then felt so relieved. No one was mad at me all the time or making me feel bad. And I felt bad for not feeling bad.
When I returned to my land for a visit to see my family, it ached me that Dick showed no sign of wanting to see me. I wrote a letter to his mother expressing my love for them and my appreciation. In which I got no reply. I left hurt and empty.
A couple weeks later, word was spread that he was seeing someone else. The companion of his sister whom I had no right to be jealous of. The night things ended with me and him, he said if he wasn't with me, he didn't want to be with anyone. He also knew how badly he had hurt me when he dated someone so quickly the last time we broke up...
Sometimes the beast turns into a prince after finding love. And sometimes the opposite happens and the prince becomes a beast, leaving you broken destroyed and wounded.
And we lived happily never after...
Four years ago to be precise I was at the place of worship. I was currently in a relationship with Kelton and was seated next to him when a boy walked in. He was tall, pale, broad shoulders, light gray blue eyes, dark brown hair. I had this feeling when I saw him that I had known him before. I couldn't figure out where. I assumed I had met him in the villages, but that feeling stuck with me. As did the attraction I instantly felt to him. Of course I couldn't have him for I was already with someone, but if I couldn't have him I wanted my best friend to. So I began matchmaking.
We went on outings as a double paired couple and I would spend time with him during events in the town. Unfortunately around the same time Kelton and I went different ways, this beautiful boy named Dick moved away. Within a few months he was wed to a girl I'd never pair him with. And as predicted, within 6 months their marriage disintegrated. As it fell apart, I was getting together with the love of my life, Tait.
When Tait ended our engagement, I thought no one in this entire world would know my heartbreak better than Dick would. So of course I turned to him for support. What I got however, was asked out. And it was cancelled. Repeat for three more dates until he finally followed through. On our first outing to see a jester, Dick brought his cousin along. And flirted with a girl there. Not at all what I wanted or needed.
A month or so passed before he asked me out again. This time we had a lovely dinner and enjoyed being frightened by people dressed to scare us. It was spontaneous and fun. And that became our relationship.
Unfortunately he never really seemed to open up to me or seem to like me more as time went on. He didn't want to hear me sing for it would make him feel awkward. I had written a book and shared it with him, of which he was not all impressed. His ex wife inflicted conflict in our relationship as she constantly wrote him. It didn't bother me all too much for I was dealing with the pain from Tait still. However, it plagued the back of my mind. At the place of worship his past girlfriend showed up and he paid more attention to her than I.
His sister was called on a mission in a far away land and time grew less with me in order to spend time with her. Upon her departure, I was given news that my royal duties were going to take me far away as well. Rather than him growing closer to me, I received a letter stating we were to go our separate ways.
There was nothing to be done about it for I was leaving for some time. I was upset, but let it be. Within a couple weeks news broke to me that he was spending time with yet another ex girlfriend of his. A few weeks later he had a new girlfriend. And another month before he loved her. He had never told me he loved me.
It hurt me. Mostly, because I had trusted him after things happened with Tait. However, my heart had been with Tait the entire time so I wasn't broken about it.
I spent the next seven months in agony over my broken engagement. On a random day I received a letter from Dick. He and his girl had parted ways. We began to keep in contact. I would tell him my pain about Tait. He would tell me his about his ex, of whom he wanted to marry. Due to our conversations I wrote to Tait to try to revive our broken relationship. He wasn't interested. Luckily, Dick was there to help me through it.
I enjoyed my letters with Dick. They were helpful and encouraging. He made me laugh. I invited him to visit me, and he took my offer. When he arrived, I wasn't sure whether we were friends or more, so I kept it as friends. That turned out to be a wise decision for he had been out with another woman a week prior celebrating her birthday. I was a bit jealous, and due to my stubborness, definitely did not want to be more than friends during his visit. His humor and handsomeness quickly won me over. We stayed up late sitting by the fire, him laying with his head in my lap and I'd play with his hair. I was smitten and was knew I could feel for someone again. On a day when my emotions went out of control, he laughed and thought it was amusing how I felt so much in less than 10 minutes. That was a relief to me.
His stay ended swiftly, but we continued to write. Until I decided to return to my land and my castle. However, there was a chance I was to attend to royal duties elsewhere so the length of my return was unknown.
Upon my arrival, I was greeted by Dick with a bouqet of flowers. His face turned bright red from embarrassment as people watched us. I was so excited to see him I couldn't let go of him!!!! The remainder of the next week was pure bliss. Complete happiness.
Unfortunately for me, my fairy tale of course never has happy endings.
Our relationship began to have fights. I was insecure about the depth of his desire for the woman he dated during our time apart. I had fallen in love with him when we were thousands of miles away. He, however, didn't feel that way for me. I couldn't bear knowing he cared more for another. He wouldn't reassure me either. He would add to the fire.
When the news came that I was to officially depart again, our relationship turned dark.
He began to not care to talk or see me often. It was a struggle for him to be on time for outings. He never complimented me. He wouldn't be affectionate with me. One day he was writing a religious speech and I leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, in which he forcefully shoved me away telling me that he would lose the spirit if I touched him. He would accuse me of wanting other men and when I reassured him of how wonderful he was and what he meant to me, he wouldn't listen and would get upset.
He informed me that if we were to be married we needed children right away for I was aging and he would not have unhealthy children. When I told him I wanted to wait before having children, he would get upset. We couldn't see eye to eye on our future. I wanted a husband who put me first, not my children first. And all he cared about was money and having children.
On Valentine's Day we were struggling a bit in our relationship. I had spent days making a gift of his favorite things. And he had planned a thoughtful outing. We were served a wonderful breakfast and then we went swimming water located above a dormant volcano. Most men when they saw me in less attire were quick to compliment. Dick was not. If I touched him in the water he would push me away for being inappropriate. On our return to the castle he said some very mean things to me and as soon as I shut the carriage door, he whipped the horses to take off as fast as they could, leaving me covered in a cloud of dust. I walked through the castle doors, tears streaming down my cheeks, and into my mother's arms. "Dick is so mean," I cried.
We worked through it, of course, after screaming and tears, only to end up fighting more and more. He wouldn't accept responsibility for any of his actions. I always took the blame.
If I was insecure, he was not understanding. He would leave me sobbing because he had enough. I had drinks of mine thrown out windows and broken when I spoke of feelings. I wanted him to be affectionate with me, and he treated me like a leper.
I've never felt so ugly unattractive and unloved in any relationship I'd had. I wanted to stick it out. I loved his family. I had seen him be good to others. I knew he could be good to me. He just had problems from his previous marriage, right?
The rest of my time with him, I was called dramatic and that my reactions to him were crazy and that I didn't want him to have the spirit. He would lie about things to me, including seeing the bishop because we had sinned for making out. Of which, the bishop didn't punish him, just informed him to be careful. which proved that we didn't need to talk to the bishop.
We decided to stay together when I departed to a far away land. He finally told me he loved me and I told him I didn't want anyone else for I loved him too. It was an unhealthy love however. And I knew it. But I had waited four years for this and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, but Dick or Tait. I had already lost Tait. I couldn't go through it again.
There were weeks that would pass without a word from Dick. And when we spoke, kind words were never exchanged. He never informed me about his life, and never seemed interested to hear of mine. He would tell me I was inappropriate and bad and that things I did or thought were not ok. I told him to stop acting so much higher and mightier than everyone. And I received the silent treatment for it. He told me I pressured him too much and that I told him how to love me, which made him not want to. He told me I was overbearing and exhausting and that I would make him miserable like his ex wife did. He accused me of trying to sleep with him and take the spirit from him. He told me he had doubts about me and that we shouldn't discuss a future together.
I was ready to end it, for why be with someone who doesn't see a future with you? I wanted a family. I had since Tait. I wanted a husband. One who was my best friend. Someone I could love unconditionally and who would love me back. One who I could tell anything to. One who would hold me if I was frightened or sad. One who would save me if I needed it. A best friend. A lover. An eternal companion.
Dick had told me if a war happened, I would be on my own. He said he would fight. I had asked what about me? And he said he wouldn't stay and protect me that he needed to be out protecting everyone. To me, if I was in a sinking boat, I'd jump off a lifeboat onto the sinking boat if he weren't allowed to leave. I would have stayed with him. He would have left.
I received news that Dick was spending time with a companion of his sister's. This made me jealous for I wasn't able to be with him. Another girl got to spend time with him. She got to be with his family. I didn't. And he didn't understand why I would be jealous of that.
My birthday came and Dick had not gotten a birthday present for me. He had been too busy. He had told me he couldn't be long distance forever and that I needed to return to my land. I had only been gone for a month and my duty did not allow that. He said everyone said that if I truly loved him that I would not have left. I said if he truly loved me he would have come with me. Later that evening, after more tears than a birthday princess should shed, I ended things with Dick.
I was sad for the next day, but then felt so relieved. No one was mad at me all the time or making me feel bad. And I felt bad for not feeling bad.
When I returned to my land for a visit to see my family, it ached me that Dick showed no sign of wanting to see me. I wrote a letter to his mother expressing my love for them and my appreciation. In which I got no reply. I left hurt and empty.
A couple weeks later, word was spread that he was seeing someone else. The companion of his sister whom I had no right to be jealous of. The night things ended with me and him, he said if he wasn't with me, he didn't want to be with anyone. He also knew how badly he had hurt me when he dated someone so quickly the last time we broke up...
Sometimes the beast turns into a prince after finding love. And sometimes the opposite happens and the prince becomes a beast, leaving you broken destroyed and wounded.
And we lived happily never after...
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Chapter Thirty Two: Tait
Once upon a time...
A good friend of mine, okay actually a boy a dated, had the incredible idea to set me up with one of his best friends. His best friend's name was Tait. Unfortunately, Tait lived in a land far far away from mine and we could not go out. We did however begin to write each other.
Being a princess, I did get distracted often with suitors and didn't really think twice about anything going anywhere with Tait. If that wasn't enough of a problem, I got into a mess with an evil witch who put a curse on me. My curse turned me into something resembling an ogre (but of course prettier.) I grew claws when upset and would begin to gain super strength.
For a bit of time, I was locked in a tower as a form of protection until my royal family and royal medicine men realized that I wasn't a harm to anyone at all. That when I was upset, it was best just to avoid me or calm me down and no danger would occur. This curse was kept a secret of course, for who could ever learn to love a beast?
One day, my dear friend, his family, and his best friend Tait came to my land far far away. We decided to go see historical sights that were decorated lovely for the special holiday season. When Tait walked into my home, I kept my distance. It was one thing to write him, it was another to actually befriend him. Especially now that I was cursed. I talked to my dear friend and my mother, the queen, but my eyes kept wondering to Tait. He was so handsome. He was taller than I and well built. He had a beautiful golden tan, and short brown hair. His eyes were as green as a four leaf clover and I found myself captivated by him.
Rather than letting him know, however, I kept my distance the entire evening. In the carriage ride, I didn't speak to him. As we were walking, I didn't either. My friend wasn't happy with how this was playing out and pretty soon I found myself alone with Tait. Naturally, I then become extremely charming. And goofy. I dared him to lay down next to one of the statues as though he were a plank on a pirates ship. He was confused. I told him "Lay down as stiff as a board. Like a pirate ship plank. Everyone does it now as a form of entertainment." He was about to when I spotted a guard. I panicked and grabbed his arm and began to talk to the guard as though me and Tait were long time lovers.
Once the guard left, we had a good laugh about it and became rather friendly the rest of the evening. The following day he attended the place of worship with me. And the day after he was set to travel back to his land far far away. He asked to take me out before he went. I agreed.
We ate a feast in which we had a long conversation which actually went terribly. When he asked what I thought of him, I told him, "You seem cocky and rather full of yourself. You're overly confident and are handsome so you aren't the kind of guy I would date." Of course Tait did not like that and we parted ways without so much as a hug goodbye.
Until he returned for the celebration of the New Year. He asked to take me out in which I agreed. We attended a party with him and a friend of his. Then we parted ways and Tait and I went to the village for an enormous celebration. The clock struck 12:00 and fireworks began to shoot in the sky. "Princess Brailee," Tait said. "What if I wanted to kiss you?" I turned and looked at him and smiled a little bit. Then I said nothing and looked away. Right before the clock turned to 12:01, I turned to him and kissed him.
After that we became very close. He began to visit me often, despite the hundreds of miles that kept us apart. He wrote me daily. And the day came when he wanted me to be exclusively his. And I turned him down. That didn't end things like I thought it would. Instead he tried harder.
We attended plays and went to the place of worship together as often as we could and participated in different cultural events. Our relationship was perfect. I was not going out with any other men at the time, but I wasn't ready to commit.
I had a conversation with my mother, the queen, and told her about Tait. I told her about how he made me laugh. How he was patient with me. How he was real. How we had the same beliefs. How we had the same goals. How I trusted him. And she told me he seemed like a dream boy and didn't understand why I wouldn't be with him.
I agreed and the next time Tait asked me, I agreed to be exclusive.
Our next step was for me to go to his land far far away and meet his family. I was hesitant to do so. I did not want my heart broken. How would I know if this was my prince? How would I know if he was worth it? I began to ponder it deeply and ask my ladies in waiting and go to the place of worship to consider it. When I finally felt good about it, I took my fastest horse and lovely carriage out to his land.
His family were wonderful people. They were darling and sweet and welcoming. They took me in to their cottage and had my favorite foods there for me. They talked to me as though they had known me since birth. I had never felt like I belonged somewhere so strongly like I did in that visit. I knew though that I was keeping a strong secret from Tait, and decided it was time he knew. So I took him aside and said, "Tait there is something you need to know about me." I could see the worry in his eyes. I began to tell him about my curse. He looked at my and smiled. He took my hand and kissed me. "I love you," he whispered. "What?" I asked in shock. "Brailee, I knew you were keeping something from me. And now that I know, I can honestly say I love you and know it without a doubt." I leaned away from him. "But it's a dealbreaker Tait," I said softly. He kissed me again. "Not for me it isn't."
Our relationship blossomed after that. He knew every secret I had, and loved me for every weakness and strength I had. Any time my curse began to take over, he would sit and hold me and I would instantly calm down. No one was more patient than he was with me. No one had cared for me the way he did or understood me the way he did. We seemed unbreakable.
Then we had our first argument. Concerning his ex girlfriend. Of four years. He kept on talking about her and I began to feel as though he wasn't over her. Once I found out that he dated two of her sisters and still kept in close contact with her family I grew very jealous and upset. Tearfully he begged me to trust him. He promised me he didn't care about her. He told me he felt he had to date her because if he hadn't he wouldn't have been friends with my friend and we never would have met.
And I believed him. I chose to trust him.
More months went by and soon the topic of marriage was brought up. And I panicked. I told him not to talk to me about it until he knew without a doubt he wanted to be with me. He promised he did but promised to respect what I wanted and not bring it up until he was ready.
He was ready however to make the long move out to my land far far away just to be with me.
And again I panicked.
We got into an enormous fight. "I don't think you should move here," I said bluntly. "Well, why not?" Tait asked me confused. "Because I don't. I think we should break up," I replied. "You know you don't want that," he said. "Yes I do. I want to break up. So don't move out here," I said irritated. "Brailee, I'm moving out here whether or not we are together. And you're going to regret ending things with me when I get here, you know that right?" He stated simply. "Whatever. We are done," I said, now angry. "Brailee, you aren't breaking up with me," he responded. "Yes I am. You can't tell me that I am not," I retorted. "Yes I can," he said still calm. "Uh no you cant!" I was fuming. I could feel my curse begin to take over. "Brailee it's a stupid reason. Give me a good reason why you want to break up and we will break up. But that's not good enough," he said and smiled. His childish innocent smile. And I melted. My anger disappeared and I apologized and told him he was right.
We become stronger and closer when he moved here. No amount of time was enough. I constantly wanted more time with him. And he felt the same. Marriage came up again. And we decided to test if we were ready by traveling the long journey to his home land far far away together.
We did so and we passed with flying colors. On the way back we began to plan the wedding.
Within the next month, he asked my parents, the king and queen, for permission to take my hand in marriage. Their concern of course was how he would take care of me and if he was going to be understanding enough of my curse. He told them of the multiple ways he knew that I was the one. He told them how he had handled my curse before and how he would in the future. He promised to love me. To care for me. Always.
One day I became ill and required my arm be bled out. When I started to recover, Tait took me on a date to a gorgeous rooftop where music was being played and a feast was being served. He then had a horse and carriage pick us up where we then rode to the place where Tait and I had our first date. As we were passing by the most beautiful building in all the lands, Tait took my hand. He began to tell me all of the reasons he loved me. Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen. My heart began to beat fast as he kneeled on one knee on the floor of the carriage and took my hand. "Brailee, will you marry me?" he said shakily. I nodded as he slid the ring on my finger. I kissed him and held him as tightly as I could.
The carriage took us to a green field, where Tait and I had been on a previous outing. "Where are we going?" I asked. He took my hand and led me up stone steps to where he had my favorite dessert on a bench, with roses on the ground and candles lighting up the small area. My eyes began to water. "So this is real?" I asked him. He smiled and pulled me close. "Yes it is," he said happily. "You really want to spend forever with me?" I asked. "Nothing would make me happier," he replied as he too began to cry. I was going to have my happily ever after. I had found my prince charming. I was going to have my storybook ending. It didnt seem real.
And I'd soon find out it wasn't.
Our engagement ended up not being the fairytale I thought it was going to be. I began to find that Tait had lied to me about things and he would get angry at me when I'd confront him. It turned out that Tait had royal blood in his line, therefore he was very wealthy and was literally my prince charming. One day he came over and announced to me that he had offered to purchase three different castles. I was taken aback that he hadn't talked to me about it first, but I was getting my own castle, why would I fight about it?
I began to get stressed. I was moving away from my land to go to his land far far away. We decided to build our own castle. I was planning a royal wedding. It began to be too much. I would start crying and wanted space to breathe, which Tait hated. On top of it all I soon found out that my fiance's cousin had been proposed to also, had been given the same ring as mine (much smaller than mine of course), was having her wedding the same week as mine, and was using the same ladies in waiting to help plan hers as were planning mine. Tait of course could not understand why I was upset and was actually angry at me for being upset at his family.
This was too much and I exploded. My curse came out full force and I told Tait that I couldn't move to his land far far away if he was never going to listen to me and if I was always going to be fed to dragons before his family would. I even offered to give back his ring if that is what he wanted.
He was extremely upset by this and wouldn't speak to me for days. He went to the place of worship to make sure he was making the right decision. I felt ill waiting for his verdict, but I knew my curse would be difficult for my future husband and knew it was right for him to make sure.
I received a knock on my chamber door from a lady in waiting. "Princess Brailee, Tait is here to speak with you," she said. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want him to break my heart. "Ask him what he wants," I replied. I heard the door open and saw Tait step in, dashingly handsome. This was it. I knew it was it. He was going to end it. He stepped forward and scooped me up. "We are meant to be," he said and kissed me strongly. "I know we are meant to be. I'm so sorry for ever doubting it." Relief rushed over me as he explained exactly how he knew. Everything would be ok. Or so I thought.
We proceeded in the planning. We had an artist paint our engagement portrait. His family through a bridal party for me. My wedding dress was finished. Our invitations were about to be sent out. The flowers were picked. The location was ready. The castle was being built. The honeymoon was planned. Everything was going perfect.
Except it wasn't. Tait began to question me constantly about what our future would be like. If I could handle him being a successful king. Would I get married and stay in bed for days. How would I adjust to going to a new land. I kept reassuring him, but I became worn down. This was not what it was supposed to feel like.
Everything seemed alright when we went to purchase furniture for our future castle. We were as happy as could be and he kept apologizing for being nervous and telling me he couldn't wait to marry me and how he couldn't believe he was so happy. I went to sleep that night as happy as could be, not knowing the horror that would await me the following day. If I had known, I would not have let him in. I would not have spoken with him.
Tait showed up at my castle unannounced while I was filling out thank you letters. He instantly picked a fight. He began to cry saying that he couldn't give me what I wanted. He said nothing would ever be enough for me. I didn't understand. I didn't agree.
Then he suggested we postpone our wedding. And I lost it. I through my glass slipper at the stone wall of the castle where it shattered. At my reaction, he left. I ran after him but he wouldn't stop. My father, the king, followed him and my sister and mother stopped me and held me as I sobbed uncontrollably. "He won't come back," I cried. My sister stroked my hair, "Couples fight Brailee. He will come back." I shook my head. "No he won't. I can feel it. We are supposed to be married in less than a month what do I do!?" I fell to the floor. "Breathe Brailee. It's not called off yet."
I ran to my chambers, grabbed a pen, ink, and paper, and began to write my apology. I wrote why I acted the way I did. What I did wrong. What I will do in the future. I wrote everything I could to reassure him that our future would be ok.
When Tait returned with my father, I gave him my apology and stepped outside with him. He smiled as he read it and then tears came to his eyes. "Brailee, I want to believe you. I want to believe we will be ok. But you are too big of a risk to my happiness." His words struck me. I couldn't breathe but I forced myself not to cry. "I need to think about it," he said and turned to go. "Brailee, may I have a hug," he said opening his arms to me. I shook my head no. "You can have one if you return." He nodded and left.
To make matters worse, a dear friend passed away that evening. I laid in bed sobbing. The following day I took my carriage to Tait's home to speak with him. He wasn't there. His friend told me he didn't want to speak with me and I was not to know where Tait went. On my way back to the castle I was a mess. To make matters worse, a soldier didn't recognize me and I ended up arrested. I pleaded with him saying my friend passed away, my fiance was calling off our wedding, and I was princess Brailee and was just trying to get home. It was of no use.
After I was released, I returned home where I waited some more. A knock came at the door. I ran down the steps of the castle and grabbed the letter off of the tray that I knew was being carried to my chambers by the servant. I opened it.
"I can't do it. I'm sorry," was all it said. "I hate you," I whispered aloud and fell to the floor where I laid sobbing for the next few hours.
The following day I put all of Tait's posssessions I owned into a basket, including the beautiful ring, where it was sent by horseback to Tait. I included the thank you letters and a letter to Tait apologizing and asking him to make sure everyone received their letters.
I received a letter the next day which read, "Princess Brailee, You are the sweetest girl I have ever known. You are beautiful and fun and amazing." The letter proceeded to tell me about all of my wonderful qualitites that he didn't truly care about. "...and are 97% what I want in a wife. But the 3% scares me. I believe you we are right, just aren't right right now. Someday maybe we will get back together, but I can't think like that. It won't be fair to the other people we will be dating." I didn't finish reading the letter. He already wanted to date other people. I threw the letter in the fire and watched it burn to ashes.
Later that week I found out Tait returned to his home in a land far far away, never to be heard from again.
And we lived happily never after...
A good friend of mine, okay actually a boy a dated, had the incredible idea to set me up with one of his best friends. His best friend's name was Tait. Unfortunately, Tait lived in a land far far away from mine and we could not go out. We did however begin to write each other.
Being a princess, I did get distracted often with suitors and didn't really think twice about anything going anywhere with Tait. If that wasn't enough of a problem, I got into a mess with an evil witch who put a curse on me. My curse turned me into something resembling an ogre (but of course prettier.) I grew claws when upset and would begin to gain super strength.
For a bit of time, I was locked in a tower as a form of protection until my royal family and royal medicine men realized that I wasn't a harm to anyone at all. That when I was upset, it was best just to avoid me or calm me down and no danger would occur. This curse was kept a secret of course, for who could ever learn to love a beast?
One day, my dear friend, his family, and his best friend Tait came to my land far far away. We decided to go see historical sights that were decorated lovely for the special holiday season. When Tait walked into my home, I kept my distance. It was one thing to write him, it was another to actually befriend him. Especially now that I was cursed. I talked to my dear friend and my mother, the queen, but my eyes kept wondering to Tait. He was so handsome. He was taller than I and well built. He had a beautiful golden tan, and short brown hair. His eyes were as green as a four leaf clover and I found myself captivated by him.
Rather than letting him know, however, I kept my distance the entire evening. In the carriage ride, I didn't speak to him. As we were walking, I didn't either. My friend wasn't happy with how this was playing out and pretty soon I found myself alone with Tait. Naturally, I then become extremely charming. And goofy. I dared him to lay down next to one of the statues as though he were a plank on a pirates ship. He was confused. I told him "Lay down as stiff as a board. Like a pirate ship plank. Everyone does it now as a form of entertainment." He was about to when I spotted a guard. I panicked and grabbed his arm and began to talk to the guard as though me and Tait were long time lovers.
Once the guard left, we had a good laugh about it and became rather friendly the rest of the evening. The following day he attended the place of worship with me. And the day after he was set to travel back to his land far far away. He asked to take me out before he went. I agreed.
We ate a feast in which we had a long conversation which actually went terribly. When he asked what I thought of him, I told him, "You seem cocky and rather full of yourself. You're overly confident and are handsome so you aren't the kind of guy I would date." Of course Tait did not like that and we parted ways without so much as a hug goodbye.
Until he returned for the celebration of the New Year. He asked to take me out in which I agreed. We attended a party with him and a friend of his. Then we parted ways and Tait and I went to the village for an enormous celebration. The clock struck 12:00 and fireworks began to shoot in the sky. "Princess Brailee," Tait said. "What if I wanted to kiss you?" I turned and looked at him and smiled a little bit. Then I said nothing and looked away. Right before the clock turned to 12:01, I turned to him and kissed him.
After that we became very close. He began to visit me often, despite the hundreds of miles that kept us apart. He wrote me daily. And the day came when he wanted me to be exclusively his. And I turned him down. That didn't end things like I thought it would. Instead he tried harder.
We attended plays and went to the place of worship together as often as we could and participated in different cultural events. Our relationship was perfect. I was not going out with any other men at the time, but I wasn't ready to commit.
I had a conversation with my mother, the queen, and told her about Tait. I told her about how he made me laugh. How he was patient with me. How he was real. How we had the same beliefs. How we had the same goals. How I trusted him. And she told me he seemed like a dream boy and didn't understand why I wouldn't be with him.
I agreed and the next time Tait asked me, I agreed to be exclusive.
Our next step was for me to go to his land far far away and meet his family. I was hesitant to do so. I did not want my heart broken. How would I know if this was my prince? How would I know if he was worth it? I began to ponder it deeply and ask my ladies in waiting and go to the place of worship to consider it. When I finally felt good about it, I took my fastest horse and lovely carriage out to his land.
His family were wonderful people. They were darling and sweet and welcoming. They took me in to their cottage and had my favorite foods there for me. They talked to me as though they had known me since birth. I had never felt like I belonged somewhere so strongly like I did in that visit. I knew though that I was keeping a strong secret from Tait, and decided it was time he knew. So I took him aside and said, "Tait there is something you need to know about me." I could see the worry in his eyes. I began to tell him about my curse. He looked at my and smiled. He took my hand and kissed me. "I love you," he whispered. "What?" I asked in shock. "Brailee, I knew you were keeping something from me. And now that I know, I can honestly say I love you and know it without a doubt." I leaned away from him. "But it's a dealbreaker Tait," I said softly. He kissed me again. "Not for me it isn't."
Our relationship blossomed after that. He knew every secret I had, and loved me for every weakness and strength I had. Any time my curse began to take over, he would sit and hold me and I would instantly calm down. No one was more patient than he was with me. No one had cared for me the way he did or understood me the way he did. We seemed unbreakable.
Then we had our first argument. Concerning his ex girlfriend. Of four years. He kept on talking about her and I began to feel as though he wasn't over her. Once I found out that he dated two of her sisters and still kept in close contact with her family I grew very jealous and upset. Tearfully he begged me to trust him. He promised me he didn't care about her. He told me he felt he had to date her because if he hadn't he wouldn't have been friends with my friend and we never would have met.
And I believed him. I chose to trust him.
More months went by and soon the topic of marriage was brought up. And I panicked. I told him not to talk to me about it until he knew without a doubt he wanted to be with me. He promised he did but promised to respect what I wanted and not bring it up until he was ready.
He was ready however to make the long move out to my land far far away just to be with me.
And again I panicked.
We got into an enormous fight. "I don't think you should move here," I said bluntly. "Well, why not?" Tait asked me confused. "Because I don't. I think we should break up," I replied. "You know you don't want that," he said. "Yes I do. I want to break up. So don't move out here," I said irritated. "Brailee, I'm moving out here whether or not we are together. And you're going to regret ending things with me when I get here, you know that right?" He stated simply. "Whatever. We are done," I said, now angry. "Brailee, you aren't breaking up with me," he responded. "Yes I am. You can't tell me that I am not," I retorted. "Yes I can," he said still calm. "Uh no you cant!" I was fuming. I could feel my curse begin to take over. "Brailee it's a stupid reason. Give me a good reason why you want to break up and we will break up. But that's not good enough," he said and smiled. His childish innocent smile. And I melted. My anger disappeared and I apologized and told him he was right.
We become stronger and closer when he moved here. No amount of time was enough. I constantly wanted more time with him. And he felt the same. Marriage came up again. And we decided to test if we were ready by traveling the long journey to his home land far far away together.
We did so and we passed with flying colors. On the way back we began to plan the wedding.
Within the next month, he asked my parents, the king and queen, for permission to take my hand in marriage. Their concern of course was how he would take care of me and if he was going to be understanding enough of my curse. He told them of the multiple ways he knew that I was the one. He told them how he had handled my curse before and how he would in the future. He promised to love me. To care for me. Always.
One day I became ill and required my arm be bled out. When I started to recover, Tait took me on a date to a gorgeous rooftop where music was being played and a feast was being served. He then had a horse and carriage pick us up where we then rode to the place where Tait and I had our first date. As we were passing by the most beautiful building in all the lands, Tait took my hand. He began to tell me all of the reasons he loved me. Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen. My heart began to beat fast as he kneeled on one knee on the floor of the carriage and took my hand. "Brailee, will you marry me?" he said shakily. I nodded as he slid the ring on my finger. I kissed him and held him as tightly as I could.
The carriage took us to a green field, where Tait and I had been on a previous outing. "Where are we going?" I asked. He took my hand and led me up stone steps to where he had my favorite dessert on a bench, with roses on the ground and candles lighting up the small area. My eyes began to water. "So this is real?" I asked him. He smiled and pulled me close. "Yes it is," he said happily. "You really want to spend forever with me?" I asked. "Nothing would make me happier," he replied as he too began to cry. I was going to have my happily ever after. I had found my prince charming. I was going to have my storybook ending. It didnt seem real.
And I'd soon find out it wasn't.
Our engagement ended up not being the fairytale I thought it was going to be. I began to find that Tait had lied to me about things and he would get angry at me when I'd confront him. It turned out that Tait had royal blood in his line, therefore he was very wealthy and was literally my prince charming. One day he came over and announced to me that he had offered to purchase three different castles. I was taken aback that he hadn't talked to me about it first, but I was getting my own castle, why would I fight about it?
I began to get stressed. I was moving away from my land to go to his land far far away. We decided to build our own castle. I was planning a royal wedding. It began to be too much. I would start crying and wanted space to breathe, which Tait hated. On top of it all I soon found out that my fiance's cousin had been proposed to also, had been given the same ring as mine (much smaller than mine of course), was having her wedding the same week as mine, and was using the same ladies in waiting to help plan hers as were planning mine. Tait of course could not understand why I was upset and was actually angry at me for being upset at his family.
This was too much and I exploded. My curse came out full force and I told Tait that I couldn't move to his land far far away if he was never going to listen to me and if I was always going to be fed to dragons before his family would. I even offered to give back his ring if that is what he wanted.
He was extremely upset by this and wouldn't speak to me for days. He went to the place of worship to make sure he was making the right decision. I felt ill waiting for his verdict, but I knew my curse would be difficult for my future husband and knew it was right for him to make sure.
I received a knock on my chamber door from a lady in waiting. "Princess Brailee, Tait is here to speak with you," she said. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want him to break my heart. "Ask him what he wants," I replied. I heard the door open and saw Tait step in, dashingly handsome. This was it. I knew it was it. He was going to end it. He stepped forward and scooped me up. "We are meant to be," he said and kissed me strongly. "I know we are meant to be. I'm so sorry for ever doubting it." Relief rushed over me as he explained exactly how he knew. Everything would be ok. Or so I thought.
We proceeded in the planning. We had an artist paint our engagement portrait. His family through a bridal party for me. My wedding dress was finished. Our invitations were about to be sent out. The flowers were picked. The location was ready. The castle was being built. The honeymoon was planned. Everything was going perfect.
Except it wasn't. Tait began to question me constantly about what our future would be like. If I could handle him being a successful king. Would I get married and stay in bed for days. How would I adjust to going to a new land. I kept reassuring him, but I became worn down. This was not what it was supposed to feel like.
Everything seemed alright when we went to purchase furniture for our future castle. We were as happy as could be and he kept apologizing for being nervous and telling me he couldn't wait to marry me and how he couldn't believe he was so happy. I went to sleep that night as happy as could be, not knowing the horror that would await me the following day. If I had known, I would not have let him in. I would not have spoken with him.
Tait showed up at my castle unannounced while I was filling out thank you letters. He instantly picked a fight. He began to cry saying that he couldn't give me what I wanted. He said nothing would ever be enough for me. I didn't understand. I didn't agree.
Then he suggested we postpone our wedding. And I lost it. I through my glass slipper at the stone wall of the castle where it shattered. At my reaction, he left. I ran after him but he wouldn't stop. My father, the king, followed him and my sister and mother stopped me and held me as I sobbed uncontrollably. "He won't come back," I cried. My sister stroked my hair, "Couples fight Brailee. He will come back." I shook my head. "No he won't. I can feel it. We are supposed to be married in less than a month what do I do!?" I fell to the floor. "Breathe Brailee. It's not called off yet."
I ran to my chambers, grabbed a pen, ink, and paper, and began to write my apology. I wrote why I acted the way I did. What I did wrong. What I will do in the future. I wrote everything I could to reassure him that our future would be ok.
When Tait returned with my father, I gave him my apology and stepped outside with him. He smiled as he read it and then tears came to his eyes. "Brailee, I want to believe you. I want to believe we will be ok. But you are too big of a risk to my happiness." His words struck me. I couldn't breathe but I forced myself not to cry. "I need to think about it," he said and turned to go. "Brailee, may I have a hug," he said opening his arms to me. I shook my head no. "You can have one if you return." He nodded and left.
To make matters worse, a dear friend passed away that evening. I laid in bed sobbing. The following day I took my carriage to Tait's home to speak with him. He wasn't there. His friend told me he didn't want to speak with me and I was not to know where Tait went. On my way back to the castle I was a mess. To make matters worse, a soldier didn't recognize me and I ended up arrested. I pleaded with him saying my friend passed away, my fiance was calling off our wedding, and I was princess Brailee and was just trying to get home. It was of no use.
After I was released, I returned home where I waited some more. A knock came at the door. I ran down the steps of the castle and grabbed the letter off of the tray that I knew was being carried to my chambers by the servant. I opened it.
"I can't do it. I'm sorry," was all it said. "I hate you," I whispered aloud and fell to the floor where I laid sobbing for the next few hours.
The following day I put all of Tait's posssessions I owned into a basket, including the beautiful ring, where it was sent by horseback to Tait. I included the thank you letters and a letter to Tait apologizing and asking him to make sure everyone received their letters.
I received a letter the next day which read, "Princess Brailee, You are the sweetest girl I have ever known. You are beautiful and fun and amazing." The letter proceeded to tell me about all of my wonderful qualitites that he didn't truly care about. "...and are 97% what I want in a wife. But the 3% scares me. I believe you we are right, just aren't right right now. Someday maybe we will get back together, but I can't think like that. It won't be fair to the other people we will be dating." I didn't finish reading the letter. He already wanted to date other people. I threw the letter in the fire and watched it burn to ashes.
Later that week I found out Tait returned to his home in a land far far away, never to be heard from again.
And we lived happily never after...
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Chapter Thirty One: Tandon
Once upon a time...
I was traveling to a land further away from my land far far away. It was about a days journey and I was traveling with the women in my land. We were attending a festival for the women that would teach them skills deemed unnecessary for men.
As we arrived in the land, I noticed how nearly vacant it was. There were cottages here and there, but hardly any. I didn't understand why they would have a festival in this desserted land, but alas, the decision had already been made and my attitude and thoughts weren't going to effect that.
The first night there we had built a fire and watched an excellent show put on by beautiful actors and actresses. I was thoroughly intrigued and entertained. It was the perfect ending to the long day's journey.
When the sun rose, it was time to awake and start the day. We went to the festivities for a few hours and then returned to our camp. The women all decided to go take a swim in the lake that was in this land far far away. As we were playing in the water a few handsome boys caught my eye. I'm rather boy crazy so that's no surprise. I seemed to have caught their eyes also, for we spent the next few hours talking and laughing. I was especially intrigued by the dark haired, dark eyed, tall boy, who had the cutest dimples when he smiled. His name was Tandon and I was fond of him.
Unfortunately all good things come to an end and we had to part ways. I did not think I would see Tandon again.
I was very wrong.
I did see him. The very next day he showed up at our camp unnanounced asking for me. I was overjoyed! I walked out to talk with him. We chatted for what seemed like only seconds when the women in charge of journey down to the festivities were shouting for me. I bid him goodbye. As I turned to go, he grabbed my arm. He asked if he could call on me. I explained I was Princess Brailee in a land far far away and he would unfortunately not be able to do so. He kissed my hand and told me he would write me.
The carriage ride to the festivities was terribly awkward. There was a heaviness in the air. I could almost feel the density of disapproval choking me in the carriage. When we arrived, I tumbled out of that carriage before a coachman could assist me out.
It was only minutes before my name was called. The women in charge of the journey called a meeting with me and informed me that my behavior was unacceptable. On a journey for women, men were not allowed and I had violated the rules. I exploded. "That's absurd!" I cried. "There was no inappropriate actions that took place!" They did not listen to my argument. They wanted me gone due to my lack of appreciation for their work and the festivies. Therefore, I soon found myself sitting in a carriage, arms folded, scowling out the window as I headed home to my castle.
When I received my first letter from Tandon, it made it all worth it. He was so sweet and kind and charming. Not to mention he was very handsome. We wrote each other for months, until I found myself traveling again to the land his was in on official royalty business.
But what princess can focus on royal business when her prince is nearby!?
So as soon as we arrived in the land, I snuck away to meet up with Tandon at jousting match. All I could think was how much pleasure I would have if he ended up being my prince and I could rub it in the women who sent me home's faces.
When I arrived at the jousting match, I was surprised by Tandon's coldness to me. He was not the same boy I'd been writing. Nor the same boy who I'd got sent to my home early because of. I awkwardly excused myself from the situation temporarily, only to turn around and see a little unattractive blonde girl walk up to him and kiss him.
His coldness all made sense now.
However, no one was to know that I had just been led on my Tandon. Even worse than the sickening feeling I had from what I'd just seen would be the feeling I'd get if the women who sent me home heard about this. They would enjoy that far too much and I'd never hear the end of it.
So there could be only one ending to this story...And we lived happily never after...
I was traveling to a land further away from my land far far away. It was about a days journey and I was traveling with the women in my land. We were attending a festival for the women that would teach them skills deemed unnecessary for men.
As we arrived in the land, I noticed how nearly vacant it was. There were cottages here and there, but hardly any. I didn't understand why they would have a festival in this desserted land, but alas, the decision had already been made and my attitude and thoughts weren't going to effect that.
The first night there we had built a fire and watched an excellent show put on by beautiful actors and actresses. I was thoroughly intrigued and entertained. It was the perfect ending to the long day's journey.
When the sun rose, it was time to awake and start the day. We went to the festivities for a few hours and then returned to our camp. The women all decided to go take a swim in the lake that was in this land far far away. As we were playing in the water a few handsome boys caught my eye. I'm rather boy crazy so that's no surprise. I seemed to have caught their eyes also, for we spent the next few hours talking and laughing. I was especially intrigued by the dark haired, dark eyed, tall boy, who had the cutest dimples when he smiled. His name was Tandon and I was fond of him.
Unfortunately all good things come to an end and we had to part ways. I did not think I would see Tandon again.
I was very wrong.
I did see him. The very next day he showed up at our camp unnanounced asking for me. I was overjoyed! I walked out to talk with him. We chatted for what seemed like only seconds when the women in charge of journey down to the festivities were shouting for me. I bid him goodbye. As I turned to go, he grabbed my arm. He asked if he could call on me. I explained I was Princess Brailee in a land far far away and he would unfortunately not be able to do so. He kissed my hand and told me he would write me.
The carriage ride to the festivities was terribly awkward. There was a heaviness in the air. I could almost feel the density of disapproval choking me in the carriage. When we arrived, I tumbled out of that carriage before a coachman could assist me out.
It was only minutes before my name was called. The women in charge of the journey called a meeting with me and informed me that my behavior was unacceptable. On a journey for women, men were not allowed and I had violated the rules. I exploded. "That's absurd!" I cried. "There was no inappropriate actions that took place!" They did not listen to my argument. They wanted me gone due to my lack of appreciation for their work and the festivies. Therefore, I soon found myself sitting in a carriage, arms folded, scowling out the window as I headed home to my castle.
When I received my first letter from Tandon, it made it all worth it. He was so sweet and kind and charming. Not to mention he was very handsome. We wrote each other for months, until I found myself traveling again to the land his was in on official royalty business.
But what princess can focus on royal business when her prince is nearby!?
So as soon as we arrived in the land, I snuck away to meet up with Tandon at jousting match. All I could think was how much pleasure I would have if he ended up being my prince and I could rub it in the women who sent me home's faces.
When I arrived at the jousting match, I was surprised by Tandon's coldness to me. He was not the same boy I'd been writing. Nor the same boy who I'd got sent to my home early because of. I awkwardly excused myself from the situation temporarily, only to turn around and see a little unattractive blonde girl walk up to him and kiss him.
His coldness all made sense now.
However, no one was to know that I had just been led on my Tandon. Even worse than the sickening feeling I had from what I'd just seen would be the feeling I'd get if the women who sent me home heard about this. They would enjoy that far too much and I'd never hear the end of it.
So there could be only one ending to this story...And we lived happily never after...
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Chapter Thirty: Roderick
Once upon a time...
It's incredible how many people you meet at the place of worship. Roderick was brown haired and handsome, but not exactly my type. He was hilarious however and I didn't give it a second thought when he asked me out.
Our first date was wonderful! We went to an extremely fancy banquet. I was used to this of course, but I was surprised Roderick had been invited. Either way, I didn't object! We had a lovely meal and when dessert was served, Roderick got it to go.
"Why aren't we eating it here?" I asked confused and alarmed. Roderick took my hand. "You'll see," he said. I wasn't normally spontaneous and I hate surprises, but in this case I didn't object. I chose wisely. He took me to an open field. The stars were shining brightly above. He begun to lay a blanket down and sat down. When I didn't follow he looked at me confused. "Brailee? You don't want to have dessert?" he asked. I smiled. "I'm not sure I can sit on the grass in my gown," I responded. He laughed and grabbed my hands pulling me down to the ground. It was a bit uncomfortable but the moment was so perfect that I didn't move. And neither did he.
We went on a few dates after that. I met his family and learned about how much he enjoyed to run and that he was quite a bit older than I. We had fun together. We would take walks and eat sweets. Unfortunately, he seemed to bring out the negativity in me.
Alright lets face it. I'm a bit negative period, but not that bad. Except with him.
Over time we began to grow apart. At first I was confused, but accepted that it was just not meant to be and was for the better. He seemed to sense that I didn't mind, because as soon as I decided I didn't care, he began to care again.
Annoying men.
So I began to date him again, considering there weren't many other prospects I felt worthy of my attention.
One evening Roderick bailed on a date we had planned. I was bummed, but soon made other plans to attend festivities. Those were sadly his plans as well. Only he had another date. When I saw him, I stopped dead in my tracks. My heart stopped beating as he leaned in and kissed another girl.
Rather than stand there looking like I'd just been played (even though I had) I searched out his brother, planted a kiss on him, waited til I knew Roderick saw, then spun on my heels and towards my carriage ready to return to my castle before the tears spilled.
Was it princess like of me? Not really, but I didn't care. My point was made and Roderick's reaction to me kissing his brother was enough to make things not work out with him and the girl he was with. That was satisfying enough for me!
And we lived happily never after...
It's incredible how many people you meet at the place of worship. Roderick was brown haired and handsome, but not exactly my type. He was hilarious however and I didn't give it a second thought when he asked me out.
Our first date was wonderful! We went to an extremely fancy banquet. I was used to this of course, but I was surprised Roderick had been invited. Either way, I didn't object! We had a lovely meal and when dessert was served, Roderick got it to go.
"Why aren't we eating it here?" I asked confused and alarmed. Roderick took my hand. "You'll see," he said. I wasn't normally spontaneous and I hate surprises, but in this case I didn't object. I chose wisely. He took me to an open field. The stars were shining brightly above. He begun to lay a blanket down and sat down. When I didn't follow he looked at me confused. "Brailee? You don't want to have dessert?" he asked. I smiled. "I'm not sure I can sit on the grass in my gown," I responded. He laughed and grabbed my hands pulling me down to the ground. It was a bit uncomfortable but the moment was so perfect that I didn't move. And neither did he.
We went on a few dates after that. I met his family and learned about how much he enjoyed to run and that he was quite a bit older than I. We had fun together. We would take walks and eat sweets. Unfortunately, he seemed to bring out the negativity in me.
Alright lets face it. I'm a bit negative period, but not that bad. Except with him.
Over time we began to grow apart. At first I was confused, but accepted that it was just not meant to be and was for the better. He seemed to sense that I didn't mind, because as soon as I decided I didn't care, he began to care again.
Annoying men.
So I began to date him again, considering there weren't many other prospects I felt worthy of my attention.
One evening Roderick bailed on a date we had planned. I was bummed, but soon made other plans to attend festivities. Those were sadly his plans as well. Only he had another date. When I saw him, I stopped dead in my tracks. My heart stopped beating as he leaned in and kissed another girl.
Rather than stand there looking like I'd just been played (even though I had) I searched out his brother, planted a kiss on him, waited til I knew Roderick saw, then spun on my heels and towards my carriage ready to return to my castle before the tears spilled.
Was it princess like of me? Not really, but I didn't care. My point was made and Roderick's reaction to me kissing his brother was enough to make things not work out with him and the girl he was with. That was satisfying enough for me!
And we lived happily never after...
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