Once upon a time...
If you asked the mirror, "Mirror Mirror on the wall who is the fairest male of all?" it would probably answer with, "Malcolm is."
For some strange reason, unknown to myself, princess Brailee, Malcolm had all of the girls in the land far far awaywrapped around his little finger. They swooned when he walked by, they all just wanted one chance to be Malcolm's girl, and when he would break up with them, it would take years for them to recoop.
I, however, was not impressed with him. Everything in Malcolm's life came easy to him. He was blessed with a good build, he was tall, had dazzling features, brown hair, blue eyes, a very successful job, riches, and as I said, all the women a man could want. Even my sisters drooled at the sight of him.
It's always what they can't have, that they want. And so, after years and years of his dating games and love affairs, Malcolm set his sights on me. I was no stranger to his reputation. Therefore, I turned him down. Malcolm was no quitter and after three years of me saying no, I finally accepted an evening out.
When he picked me up, he did not open my door for me. As I opened my carriage door myself and struggled to climb in, I was engulfed in a smell of pine needles. I love fresh scents, but I don't love being drowned in it. He sensed my disapproval and explained he'd been hunting.
We headed to a banquet. When we arrived and were seated, he began to ask me questions. "When was your last relationship?" "What do you do for your duties?" "Where do you stand on the dragon control issue?" "Team Aladdin or Team Jafar?" Each time I hardly got a word in, before he cut me off.
The final question was when I lost it. "What do you like to do in your spare time?" he asked. I began to open my mouth and he'd cut me off. "And don't say you don't have a lot of spare time. Everyone has spare time." I was bewildered. "No that's not what I was going to say," I replied. "Oh well then answer the question," he said. I was taken aback at his rudeness and before I could reply, he again would speak up. "C'mon you need to be confident and know what you like to do." I did know what I liked to do, he just never gave me a chance to comment. I bit my tongue for a moment until I composed myself enough to reply, "I do know what I like to do. Goodness if I don't reply within two seconds you interrupt. What is this? An interview?"
My comment amused Malcolm, which was not my intention. So I tried to revert the conversation back to him, which was quite easy. For the rest of the banquet, he talked about himself and I pretended to listen.
After the banquet we attended a show. When we arrived at the theatre, he needed to change clothes. For what purpose, I wasn't quite sure. He left to change and I waited. And waited. And waited.
He took literally fifteen minutes to change. FIFTEEN MINUTES. I don't even take that long and I'm a princess. I was about to leave, assuming he'd left me stranded there, when I saw him walking towards me. He told me then that he had to put his clothes in his carriage and left me waiting there again. Luckily I wasn't waiting fifteen minutes this time.
When he returned, we went and took our seats. The show began and not even three minutes into it, Malcolm decided he wanted refreshments, however did not ask if I wanted anything. He got up from his seat and crawled over an entire row of chairs with people seated in them in order to get out. He was gone for about twenty minutes. When he returned with refreshments, he again crawled over the whole row again, took his seat, and then did not ask if I wanted any.
After the show, we shared a shallow conversation about our thoughts on the production. Thankfully the ride to my castle wasn't long. He walked me to my door, I thanked him, and we said goodbye.
I walked inside bewildered. A man who doesn't open doors, is extremely rude, doesn't offer refreshments, only likes himself, acts like he's better than you, and has close to no personality was the fairest male of all? I understood he had looks, money, and success, but I was seriously at a loss as to how on earth women cried for years over him. I, princess Brialee, didn't even care to give him another thought.
And we lived happily never after...
