Once upon a time...
I'd run in to him a few times on different occasions while out and about. Cornelius was a stalky, light brown haired, green/blue eyed, tan boy. He was one of the most cocky self absorbed boys I'd ever met. After turning him down multiple times for a date, I finally said yes purely out of exhaustion.
He decided we would go eat at a banquet that I'd never attended before. I love trying new things so I was quite thrilled. When I climbed out of the carriage, we had to walk just a little ways to get to the banquet. On our way, a man was on the street playing an instrument called a bagpipe. Only one specific land far far away was known for playing the bagpipes, as it was a relatively new instrument. I had visited that land only once and I distinctly remembered the citizens' funny accents.
I was very excited and intrigued by this man and began talking to Cornelius in the accent I presumed this bagpipe player would speak in. "I'm from a land far far away and I play the bagpipe," I said giggling in the best accent impersonation I could manage. I then looked at Cornelius with a big grin on my face. He was not smiling back. In fact, he was staring at me with a blank expression on his face. My grin immediately fell and I stared straight ahead or focused on keeping my dress from dragging on the ground.
When we got into the banquet, Cornelius helped me decide what food I would like to eat. We ordedered, after I had a good ten minute conversation with the servant who was to bring our food. This servant had a far greater personality than Cornelius and I was sad to see him go. Cornelius and I sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Finally, he began to tell me almost his entire life story. He spoke in monotone. I was trying not to drift to sleep. If I happened to drift asleep, there'd be no hope for me. Sleeping Beauty was awaken by prince charming's kiss. Cornelius was not prince charming. I'd be doomed to sleep forever, eternally cast under his monotone vocal spell.
Cornelius began to talk about a woman he'd only recently broken up with about a month ago. He told me all about how he wanted to marry her and how she just didn't feel like it was right. When he said how she wasted two years of his life, it was the first time his voice changed pitch. I opted to keep talking about her, since it was the only remotely entertaining thing he'd talked about all evening.
Our food arrived, and we ate in silence. After we finished I said I needed to use the ladies room. I walked into the room and sat on a lovely couch positioned against the wall and across from a mirror. I stared at myself thinking, "Do I stay in here for fifteen minutes and then tell him I don't feel well and need to go home? Or do I do the right thing and just pretend to have a good time and go play croquet?" I stared at my reflection in deep thought. Maybe I could find an apple around here that would solve my problem. I shook my head and stood up. Be a princess. Keep your dignity.
We then rode in the carriage to a place to play croquet. When we arrived, Cornelius made sure to brag about how extremely skilled and talented he was in the sport of croquet. He said he had the option to play it in competitions against the other top croquet players in all the far away lands. As I've said in previous chapters, I was not so blessed with that talent. I should have eaten a poisonous apple, I said to myself.
We began to play and he was definitely unimpressed with my skills. Any time he remotely messed up when hitting the ball, he became very upset with himself. I, on the other hand, was kicking the ball with my feet and making funny noises every time I'd hit it. Any time I did something well I'd make sound effects that mimicked sound that played when fairies sprinkled fairy dust.
I realize that my actions were very unprincess-like, but it was a terrible date. I had to do anything I could to entertain myself. And accents, servants, and sound effects were the only options I had.
Not very surprisinlgy, Cornelius outscored me big time on croquet. He was so pleased with himself, it was almost disturbing. His cocky walk got even mightier. And his self absorption practically radiated a mile off of him and killed any living thing in its tracks. I congratulated him on his win and we began our ride home to my castle.
On the way, we were again silent until Cornelius spoke up. "Princess Brailee, I saw you perform in a musical." I smiled, "Did you? What did you think?" Still in monotone, he replied, "You were fantastic. Something you probably don't know about me, is that I too am very gifted in music." I was surprised. "Are you now?" I asked. "Yes, I used to perform with other musicians. We'd make music together. I was the singer. If only you could have seen us, we were truly amazing. Like song birds." I bet they were. "So sing something for me Cornelius," I said. He nodded, "I will indeed." He thought for a moment of what song he wanted to sing. Then he began. I had to hold back my laughter. His voice resembled more of a pigeon who'd just been shot for food by a hunter than a songbird.
When he finished, I complimented him politely, as I presumed I should. Unfortuantely, that may have been the wrong decisions, because the rest of the ride, he continued to sing for me. I practically leaped out of the carriage when we arrived at my castle. He managed to catch up to me halfway to the door. I was not fast enough, I sighed.
When we reached the door, he bowed and said, "I'd like to take you out again, Princess." I smiled, "I will have to let you know when I'm available next." He then kissed my hand and walked away, singing to himself. I shook my head knowing that I would never be available again for a date with Cornelius.
And we lived happily never after.
